Did someone say Christmas Break??

11 days...

Not since my Vegas trip have I taken so many days off between runs.  (and consumed this many calories!) 

What has been a week and a half has felt like a month.  Days that held the opportunity to run seemed to turn into time spent holding down a piece of furniture.

I'm not signed up to run a 5K anytime soon (unless I can do that one in the Bahamas) so I'm not necessarily "in training".  But failing to lace up the Brooks for 11 days was disappointing.

But with 3 days to go before the end of the year, I thought I could add to my yearly total.  This year was going to be my best year yet!  (of course the bar was set pretty low)

Thank goodness for my treadmill otherwise tonight's run might have been a bit shorter.

3.08 miles, 34:30.

Later

Challenge!!

If you grew up in the 80's, you most likely were on a first name basis with the Huxtables.  Cliff, Claire, Sondra, Denise, Theo, Vanessa, and Rudy.

They were less dysfunctional than your family, and they ended every episode on a good note, like a good TV family should.  Complete with incredible sweaters, amazing grandparents, and a sassy youngest child, how could you not like the Cosby Show?

There was one episode that I think of whenever I hear the word challenge!

Cosby Show Challenge Episode

In this episode, Cliff takes on a seasoned tap dancer in a "dance off"!  And the only word that the tap dancer, Sandman Simms, says is...CHALLANGE after he finishes his dance moves!  Yes I spelled that wrong, but if you watched the episode, you know I'm right.

If you read my last post, you know I had a little wager with my Aunt Sonya over the Packers v Cowboys game.  Well, the sun shined down on the Packers and their backup QB so I came out on top of that bet.  The bet was that the loser would run 20 miles this week.

I had then, and still have no doubts that my Aunt Sonya would knock that out by the weekend.  

...myself, however, would've probably failed miserably.

Anyway, not to be outdone, I thought I would at least try to keep pace and CHALLANGE myself to see if I could have done the 20 miles myself had I lost.  Get it?  How I CHALLANGED myself there...OK, yeah, so that wasn't that funny, never mind.

In order to do 20 miles in a week, one must do large chunks of it when one has the chance.

Wednesday was the only day this week that there wasn't a game or practice.

First 3 miles was a sub 10 minute pace.

4.99 miles (we'll call it 5), 51:54.  Still not at 20 miles...

Later

Dodged a 20 mile bullet...

Go Pack Go!

Those who know me, know that I am a die hard fan of the Green and Gold!  Since I was a freshman or sophomore in high school, I've followed the Green Bay Packers.  Prior to Favre, in the days of Don "Magic Man" Majkowski, I made my choice in what professional football team I would follow.

I have to admit, my choice of team wasn't because of some connection with the team itself.  It wasn't because it was my dad's team, and it wasn't because it was the local team.  Far from it.

Believe it or not, the team I followed prior to the Pack was the Cowboys.  I was raised on Roger Staubach, Tom Landry, and Tony Dorsett.  My mother's family originated from Texas, and we still have relatives there.  So the Cowboys were the team you were expected to follow.

Well...

I'm not sure what it was.  Maybe it was a bit of rebelliousness, or just the desire to be different.  But I decided that I didn't want to root for the 'Boys anymore.  I knew I wanted to root for an NFC team and I loved the history and tradition that the Packers represented.

Little did I know that the Packers and Cowboys would do battle throughout the 90's and early 2000's.  This made for great smack talk between myself and other family members.  Particularly with my Uncle Ray.

Uncle Ray was like my older brother...scratch that...he was my older brother for a big part of my life.  Being the youngest of my mother's siblings, he is close to my age.  I have to imagine that he was somewhat disappointed in my straying.

...at least we had Buffett.  :)

Well fast forward to today and the Packers vs Cowboys 2013.  This time the smack talk is with my Aunt Sonya (my inspiration).  So I get a text this morning about a little wager on today's game.  The loser has to run a certain distance throughout the week.

I cant say that it was the best thought out wager I've ever had, but I thought Flynn had a good game last week, and there's always the chance that Rodgers is cleared before game time.

Stupid backup quarterbacks...

They suck you in so that you like them and want to root for them, then they show you why they're backups!

So I accepted the bet and we decided that the loser would have to do 20 miles this week.  I was the one who came up with that distance.  My Aunt Sonya has probably done 20 miles more than once.  I however, haven't cleared 15 in a single week!

After the first quarter, I thought that things were still close.  The Pack was behind but still within striking distance.

By halftime I was looking for my shoes and trying to figure out just how many miles I would have to do tonight in order to make it to 20 by weeks end!  Wow, talk about an anemic offense.  Flynn and company couldn't score, and Romo and the 'Boys couldn't be stopped.  By the third quarter, Aunt Sonya was telling me to get the shoes warmed up!

Sometimes when your team is losing, stepping away and not watching actually helps.  Somehow there is magic in the not watching that makes the momentum change.  Since we were out of eggs and cold cuts for the kids' lunches, I figured it was a perfect time to head to the store.  Just like the Bud Light commercial says, it only weird if it doesn't work.  The moment I got to the grocery store parking lot, the momentum had shifted!  By the time I finished going through my list, the Pack had intercepted Romo and were on the march!  As I rolled into the driveway, walked into the house, and sat down on the couch, the Green and Gold was knocking on the end zone door.  Seconds later Lacy flies into the end zone to give Green Bay the lead!!

With about a minute and a half left, the Cowboys were going to get the ball back, and just like a good TV production team would do, they put a graphic that showed the 21 4th quarter comebacks that Romo has lead in his career.  Knowing that the defense has had its struggles, and Dallas' kicker has a big foot, I was a little worried about the 1 point lead.

Well leave it to good 'ole Romo.  I knew I could count on him!  He threw a game ending interception to give Green Bay the victory!  (Of course it took the replay booth to get it right because the horrible officiating couldn't.  Seriously!  Zebra was looking right at the Green Bay defensive back and still got the call wrong!)

So I dodged the 20 mile bullet!  Sorry Aunt Sonya.

Although I will try to keep pace this week.  Are there 10 days in a week yet??

2 miles, 21:49.

Later

Brrrrr

Lack of material.  Ran in the garage on the treadmill because of the Eskimos building igloos outside.

37:04, 3:33

Later

Cant hear the wheezing...

...over the sound of my chattering teeth!

Holy crap it was cold tonight!

I know I've hit the point in my addiction that I cant quit so I have to keep running even in ridiculous temps!  Luckily I have a treadmill in the garage so I don't have to put up with the cold every night.

However, since I do have an enabler, she makes it so I dont have to dress like an Eskimo to run.  Her most recent purchase was something called a balaclava, a.k.a. a ski mask.  So now I have enough thin layered gear to keep me completely covered except my eyes.

Really all it does is make me look like a fat wheezing burgler.

I'll leave that as your mental pic for the night.

3.01 miles, 30.43.

Later

Kin-Tan-Tee

"In Nepal the villagers call me 'Kin-tan-tee', which means 'man who is loved by many animals...who love him a lot, too.."

Oh the infamous Pat Healy.  The one time P.I. turned stalker.

From one of my favorite movies comes my blog about tonight's run.

If you have seen There's Something About Mary then you know what I'm talking about when I talk about Pat Healy.  

There's a scene in which Pat and another stalker Tucker are trying to "medicate" his date's older roommate's dog.  This dog did nothing but growl the last time Pat was around so he wants the dog to like him.  He figures if the dog likes him, so will the roommate, so will his date!  Logical thinking wouldn't you say?

Yeah, don't ask for an explanation if you haven't seen it.  Just follow along.

So Tucker and Healy start tossing speed filled dog treats in the upstairs window where his date, Mary, and her roommate, Magda, live.  Of course the dog finds them and starts eating them.  However, one happens to find its way into the Magda's drink as she isn't looking.

Well Pat shows up for the date with Mary and lo and behold, the dog had overdosed and is now in some sort of shock, which makes it extremely easy for Healy to "get along" with the pooch.  This is, of course, where the the line "Kin-Tan-Tee" is used because Healy is trying to impress Mary and Magda by showing them his "way with the animals".

There is another hilarious scene which follows where the dog finally stops breathing and Healy performs CPR and uses a lamp cord for a defibrillator and brings the dog back to life!  

So after the date, which is also a great scene, ("you have to look at it in it's totalitarian...ism"), Mary goes back home and finds Magda cleaning the house...hopped up on speed!  She's a small woman to begin with, but Mary finds her lifting the edge of the couch with one hand and vacuuming under it with the other!  

So this brings me to tonight's run...

No I didnt score some smack...but I did purchase my first 5 Hour Energy Drink!  I always see the commercials, but never really thought about using any.  Then I had a talk with my Bro-In-Law, who swears by them.  So today after lunch I was in between clients and was feeling a bit drowsy.  It was about 2pm and lunch was beckoning me to find a little park, recline the seat back, and siesta!  However, the very large client (and most likely my boss) would frown on missing this meeting.

Work always gets in the way doesnt it?

Well I stopped a a convenience store on the way and bought one of the little brightly colored bottles.  My BIL warned me of their "unique" flavor.

...um...yeah.  I dont truly know what butt tastes like, but I'm going to imagine the people at 5 Hour Energy have perfected it.  Complete with hints of berry, grape, and pomegranate.

So an hour or so after I choked it down I truly started to lose that nappy feeling.

I dont know if it helped or hurt my run tonight.  But I did keep a really good pace.

(Probably helps that I was on the treadmill and not outside tonight too.)

4.0 miles, 40:35

Later

Better late than never

Another night, not much material.

Decent run.  Could've been better.

3.0 miles, 31.25

Later

Thankful

So in preparation of the over eating that was absolutely going to happen today, I decided that a good run was necessary because there is a very good chance of no run the day after (or the day after that)!

So after getting to the in-laws and while waiting on the fried turkey, I hopped in my Brooks and hit the...gravel.

Yeah so the in-laws live out in the country and therefore do not have paved roads.  Which makes for great getting away from it time.  They also live on a small lake, so even better fishing time.  It does not however, make it conducive for a road runner like yours truly. 

So to add to the already cool temps we had the added variable of an unstable running surface as well as the potential for wild animal attacks!  

...OK, so maybe just the unstable surface.
You might have noticed that I used "we" earlier.  I was also lucky enough today to have a running partner.  My sister-in-law from out of town ran with me today. 

OK, time for my obligatory Thanksgiving list of things to be thankful for...

...my dad, my sisters and their families.

...in-laws that are better than most. 

...my aunt who inspires me to run, and her family.

...being able to run.

...new friends that we have made since moving to our little town who don't call the cops as I wheeze by their house late at night!

...my offspring.

One of the things I am most thankful for is My Woman (the Enabler).  She is my biggest fan and supporter.  I would be lost without her.  I'd also probably be back on the couch instead of planning my next 5k.

3.4 miles, 43:56

Later.

I must break you...

The ultimate story of the small time underdog who gets his chance to make it big.

If you spent any time watching movies in the 70's, 80's, and even into the early 90's you most likely watched one of the 5 Rocky movies (all of them if you were lucky enough).  I was one of the lucky ones and Rocky was always one of my favorites.  Anytime it would come on cable I would stop what I was doing and tune in.  Blue collar, underdog, hometown favorite, patriot, legend, there were many reasons for a movie goer to root for the diminutive pugilist.

From tenderizing sides of beef by hand, to taking verbal abuse from his crotchety old bag of a trainer, there are so many parts that define these movies, they stick in your mind.

Rocky, Adrian, Mick, Paulie, Apollo Creed, Clubber Lang (one of my favorites), and the late Tommy "Machine" Gunn.  So many colorful characters made this series of movies one of my favorites.

Tonight's run caused me to think about the movies about the "Italian Stallion".

In Rocky IV, at the height of the cold war, Rocky's nemesis is a Russian super-boxer named Ivan Drago.  First of all, how freaking cool of a Russian name is that!?  Then you get the revenge factor against the evil Iron Curtain after one time opponent turned friend Apollo Creed is killed in the ring by the scientifically "enhanced" Russian during an exhibition match.

Of course Rocky has to avenge his friend's death by taking on the Russian...on his home turf!!  So the red-blooded American boxer travels to Mother Russia to train for the fight of his life.

This brings me to tonights run...

During the movie Rocky trains more old school than he ever has before.  He's running out in the Siberian countryside, up mountains, jumping rope in a 200 year old barn, lifting Paulie and Duke (Apollo's old trainer) in a flatbed horse trailer.  True old school training.

In stark contrast, the uber-athlete Drago trains like a lab rat.  Running on a track in dramatically low lighting.  Lifting hundreds of pounds of weights.  Punching a machine that registers the power of his strike.  And of course getting his daily injections.  All the while his 7 foot Russian model girlfriend goes over his training regimen with the corrupt Russian doctor.  I mean really, how else was Russia going to have a world champion in boxing if they didnt "create" one?

At one point in the movie, Drago is running on a treadmill.  He's hooked up to all sorts of monitors that his trainers and doctors are watching constantly.  Then they start increasing the incline of the treadmill.  Drago is pushed to his limits as they have him running at what appears to be a 45 degree angle!

Most of my nights are like the training that Rocky does prior to his showdown with Drago.  Out in the elements, braving the cold in recent weeks.  Climbing mountains and celebrating when I've reached the peak.

Although, there are times when I have to go Drago...

A few months ago, My Woman (the Enabler) asked me to move the treadmill out into the garage because someone was interested in buying it.  (You know how treadmill ownership goes, you buy it, use it for a while, then it becomes a clothes hanger.  Next thing you know, you're trying to sell it!)  Well lucky for me, this person has not shown anymore interest.  Because on those nights when I dont have Paulie or Duke yelling at me to go run in the arctic temps (like tonight) I go wheezing in the comfort of my luke warm garage.  No 'roids, no Russian doctors, just Pandora.

4.0 miles, 43.27

Later

Killing November

November 11th 2012...

That was the last day I ran during Wheezing Gorilla 2.0.

Things are different now.  Different year, different equipment, different attitude, different Gorilla.

I have the treadmill setup in the garage in case the temps get down lower than the R-value of my Nike Pro Combat compression tights.

I've completed my first 5k and am looking for my next one.

I started this blog.

I've dropped 2 pants sizes.

This winter will not get the best of me.

3.13 miles, 32:30

Later.

Mr. C would be proud

He knew Metallica and Algebra.

He could talk about current events or Quantum theory.

He was my favorite teacher in Junior High (and possibly ever...I didnt like any of my HS teachers).

He was also my wrestling coach.  And outside of my dad, was the man who challenged me to reach my potential as a student and as an athlete.

He was one of those coaches that treated you like a man and expected you to act as such.  He was the type of coach you didn't want to disappoint.  Not because you were afraid of getting yelled at (which he rarely did), but because you didn't want him to think less of you.  You wanted his approval.

Every kid needs a coach like that.  Someone who will demand the best from you and not accept anything less.  I've run into Mr. C over the years.  Other than a bit of grey hair, he still looks the same.  Same glasses, same hair, probably same pants.

What does that have to do with tonight's run?

Well, during wrestling season, there's a lot of condition...which means running...a lot of running...then a little more running.

During the holidays Mr. C wouldn't assign homework...he would assign running.

Now I don't think he would follow us on our holiday runs, but if you didn't run during Thanksgiving or Christmas break (we had Christmas breaks, not winter breaks) he definitely knew.  I don't know how, but he he did.

Many times we would run in the wrestling room.  And for those of you who aren't familiar with a wrestling room, they tend to have a certain...funk to them!

Often times though we would run outside.  Didn't matter what the temperature was, we were running.  He would make sure you had proper attire...which amounted to a stocking cap.  You know, because you lose heat through you head.  Boy if I had a nickle for every time he said that...

Well I'm sure at the time I failed to see the value in running in the great outdoors.  But now that I am running because I want to, I do.  With the help of My Woman (the Enabler), I've equipped myself with the proper cold weather running attire and can run in pretty frigid temps.

I hope that Mr. C would be proud of the running I've been doing...especially in the cold!

3.13 miles, 32.33

Later

TJ5K

Well, I did it.

Today I participated in my first 5k.

It was a trail run into a 30 mph wind, and it kicked the living crap out of me! I kept telling myself all week to pace myself in the first mile. And to not try to keep up with the quicker and faster runners. I did not realize that many of those quicker and faster runners would be 5, 6, and 7 year old children!

So I did what any self respecting the grown man would do, I tried to beat the kids.

I got through the first mile and wasn't feeling too bad. The first mile of the course had a little elevation change but not much. Then going into the second mile is where the elevation changed and started to push my endurance as a runner. Remember when I wrote about the bottlenecks that I would experience while running? Well today was a perfect example of all of them showing up at once!

I walked more times than I wanted to (my goal was none).

I took longer than I wanted to (my goal was sub 11 minutes)

And I almost missed my third goal...NOT puking.

I didn't go into the race with that particular goal, but about half a mile before the finish line it became my primary one.

As soon as I crossed the finish line I kept going so that I was outside of earshot of the people surrounding it.  They didn't need to hear me working on keeping my breakfast down. 

Luckily I was able to settle down and keep from being "the guy who threw up".  A friend brought me a bottle of water and I made my way back to the finish line.

Overall I'm proud that I finished.  It was a fun time as there were other people there that I knew.

I couldn't have done this without the support of My Woman (The Enabler), my kids, and My Aunt (My Coach).

I didn't win anything, but then again that's not why we do it is it?  (unless it's a Turkey Trot) ;-)

3.1 miles, 35-36 minutes (I think)

Later

Runner's Lament

Getting closer I can feel it.

Saturday is only 3 days away.  (Wednesday's post)

Good thing is that I'm getting closer to where I was before the backslide. 

Bad thing is I'm still not where I want to be.

Ugh.

3.55 miles 38:24

Later

I don't get it...

On a busy day I will use my phone so much that the battery will give out before I get home.  Don't believe me?  Just ask My Woman.

Tuesday was one of those days. Heavy use of email, text messaging, and the assorted social media, caused my battery to give up the ghost.

So by the time I was ready to hit the pavement my phone was on the sidelines. So I did what I had to do and I broke out my iPod Shuffle.  Now don't get me wrong, I've got plenty of good beats on that little device to get me through my workout. From Metallica to old school hip hop, that little Shuffle has enough music to lay down the beat for a good long run.

Here's my problem...

With the abundance of creativity, money, and bleeding edge technology, how in God's name can this company produce such awful earbuds for so long!?!  Could there be a more uncomfortable piece of technology than those crappy little white, perfectly round earbuds?

I'm not a total Windows snob and I know that Apple makes wonderful products, but seriously!  I don't get it.  How can this be overlooked?  If I wanted to surrender the extra money in site I could find a good after market pair.  But why should you have to?  I'm not saying they need to be Dr. Dre Beats good but make them at least comfortable.

I guess the latest ones are an improvement over models past but why take so long?

Good thing it was cold tonight so my crappy earbuds could be held in place by my hat. 

Quick run tonight.  Run Tracker failed to keep the time and mileage.

Best guess is 25-30 minutes just shy of 3 miles.

Later.

Rocky and Bullwinkle

If you were one of the lucky ones who grew up in the golden age of the Saturday morning cartoons (or at least re-runs of some of the greats) you more than likely sat down in front of the idiot box to enjoy one of the greats.

Rocky and Bullwinkle, Boris and Natasha, Peabody and his pet boy Sherman, and of course, Dudley Do-Right.  This cult favorite, which only ran for a total of 5 years, brought humor to both young and old.  Writers of the show mixed good old fashioned slap stick comedy and adult humor.

One of my favorite things about the show was the way they ended nearly every show.  The narrator would announce two humorous titles for the next episode which were really more about the current show's predicament rather than the plot of the next episode.

Tonight's run reminded me of the episodes I used to watch.  Specifically the show endings.  So in true Rocky and Bullwinkle and Friends fashion, here's the rest of my blog.

Be with us next time for "Stretching a double into a single" or "Its a bad night for squirrels".

Now to elaborate.

Stretching a double into a single...

Back in the day I was a pretty good athlete.  I spent the majority of my late teens, 20s, and 30s playing softball as much as I could.  I worked a lot of physical jobs so I stayed in pretty good shape.  I was quick and strong, 10 feet tall and bullet-proof.

Then I hit my mid-thirties, found a job in IT, and discovered my mortality.  Weight didnt fall off like it used to, joints started creaking more, and injuries didnt heal like they used to.

Twisted ankles, sprained wrist, and a torn groin later and my role as a softball superstar morphed into the solid "old man" role.  So now when that shot finds the gap between left and left center, what was once a double, potentially a triple, is now a round the bag at first and call it good.  Live to play another day is the motto this old softballer had adopted.

How does this apply to tonight's run?  Well as I've written before, my recent lack of training has really got me struggling to get back where I was before.

Tonight I took off at a faster pace than normal, thinking that I would push myself this week in preparation for my 5K on Saturday.  ...uh, mistake.

I took off at a sub 10 minute first mile.  Unfortunately that killed my next mile.  By the time I got into my third mile, I had come to my senses and was running at the pace that got me to where I was before.  Methodical pace with short bursts of speed.  (You'd think after 8 months of training, I'd have figured this out by now).

Its a bad night for squirrels...

I see my share of animals, both dead and alive, while running.  Tonight was a bit odd though.  Saw 2 dead squirrels on the town roads.  Thought those little suckers were quicker than that.  Wish it was the little black and white varmints.

Overall not a bad run once I got back in the groove.

0.00 miles, 45 minutes.  (GPS failed to work, figured at an average of 5.5 mph, I ran a touch over 4 miles)

Later

9 Days...

Single digits...

It is now 9 days until my first 5K.  (7 technically since I'm writing this on Saturday)

And with the recent lack of training, I'm a little worried.

Its only 3.1 miles but right now it feels like 31.

I feel like I'm getting back to where I was before, but definitely not where I want to be by my first race.

I think the biggest fear I have is having to listen to myself breathe during the race!  I haven't picked up my packet yet so I don't know if headphones are banned from the race or not.  But from what I understand, it's poor race etiquette to run with headphones.  And you all know what a stickler for etiquette I am.  (as I look up the definition of etiquette)

Scaring my neighbors on the evenings that I run was bad enough, but scaring perfect strangers as they are forced to run along side me is a different story.  If anything let them wear headphones! 

I'm sure my Aunt Sonya can chime in on this as the voice of race experience.

But who am I kidding?  My competition will most likely not even be in earshot to my wheezing!

All kidding aside, here is a link to the race.

http://www.redteamracing.com/races/tj5k

Tonight's run wasn't bad, but it wasn't great either.

3.73 miles, 39:55

Later

My Pal's Favorite Super

If you have a young son, you will more than likely be familiar with the metal encased superhero IronMan.  Billionaire, genius, playboy, philanthropist Tony Stark and his amazingly cool toys.  IronMan's suit made from space age materials and technology allows Stark to battle villains from this worlds and beyond.

What powers this super suit is a miniature ARC reactor created by Stark while held captive in a cave.  Its the telltale light emitting from his chest that lets you know its an IronMan suit.

By the time IronMan 3 rolled around the ARC reactor had taken on a few different shapes.  One of the suits displays a triangle on the chest.

This is where I actually make a connection to my run tonight and the rambling of my blog.

During a physical therapy session that My Baby Girl had a few weeks ago, the PT (which is also my wife's extremely cool boss) talked to her (and me I suppose) about proper running techniques.  He discussed that when you are running properly with your arms and legs in sync, you also have your chest expanded correctly.  He described it as an upside down triangle and how you should always have it "open".

Now this explanation is much better in person and I know I did a horrible job of trying to describe it myself.  But the whole thing reminded me of IronMan's suit in the latest installment of the movie.

Now when I run, I'm not saying that its anything like IronMan...in fact its more like Darth Vader.  A lot of difficult breathing sounds.

Tuesday night was suspended due to feeling crappy.

Tonight was horrible, couldnt even finish a full 3 miles and I stopped to walk twice.

2.99 miles, 33:48

Later

She's an enabler..

So I've written about how awesome My Woman is in previous posts.  How supportive she's been of my running.  And how she's spoiled me when it comes to my running gear.

Well I've discovered tonight that she's not a supporter...she's what the folks on Intervention call an enabler.

Just when I think I want to quit she says something or does something for me that motivates me to keep going.

Perfect example:
I've been talking about how cold the weather is getting and trying to figure out what I'm gonna run in.  Leave it to My Woman.  I come home on Monday and she's already picked me up some gear to try.

A couple pair of long running pants (I'm not gonna call them tights), long sleeved Duo-Dry shirt, and a thin running jacket.  She's amazing!

...crap.

Now I have to go out and run in this weather.  Not only was it cold tonight, but the wind was blowing.  I think the wind chill was somewhere around -25 degrees or so.

So I put on my new gear and laced up my Brooks and hit the pavement.

F-f-f-f-f-reaking A!  Why am I doing this!?!

I had to go back in the house to put on one more layer!

Once I got going the gear worked great!  Yeah it was chilly but it beats running in a parka! 

Good run tonight.

4.62 miles, 49:19.

Later.

Monday Night's Run

Some nights there's just no material.

Theres just running.

That was tonight.

3.45 miles, 36:09

Later.

Chicken Run

Back in the day it was the place to eat when you wanted killer fried chicken.  People would come from miles around and stand in line for the food.  For the weary traveler it was a welcome respite to rest and refuel (both the body and the family truckster) before heading back out on I-70.  For many folks in the area (including members of my own family) it was the place to work too!  

Nickerson Farms was a place from my childhood that conjures up nostalgic feelings of family and food.  We didnt get to go there often as we didnt live in the same town but the times we did were amazing!  Back before families dined out as much as we do now, going to a restaurant was a special event.  Children would be analyzing the menu slowly trying to decide on their main course as if choosing a college to attend.  When in reality it didnt matter what you chose, it was going to be delicious anyway!

Now the fact that I was probably around 8 or 9 the last time we were at Nickerson Farms probably clouds my perception of what it was really like.  But isnt that the fun of childhood memories anyway?  Things probably aren't as bad or as great as you remember.

Anyway, the reason for another of one of my trips down memory lane is my run this Sunday.  While My Baby Girl was at open gym at the Jr High, I decided to do my run.  I knew it was going to be a painful run as I've run once in the last 16 days...yes, yes, I feel the shame you are all sending my way.  That was one of the reasons I decided to make my running journey public.

So my run tonight was in that same small town as one of my favorite childhood memories.  Nickerson Farms exists no more, replaced years ago by a winery.  I decided that since MBG was going to be at open gym for nearly an hour and a half, a nice 45-60 min run would be good in getting me back in the groove.

...uh wrong!

Probably should be happy I did as good as I did all things considered, but when you get the running bug, you always feel like you could have done better.  I did find out though that it is exactly 1.4 miles from the Junior High to the parking lot of the old Nickerson Farms/now winery.

2.80 miles, 31:03.

Later

Cheese curds...NOT on the runner's diet.

Obviously it's been a few days since my last post, which means it's been a few days since my last run!  Needless to say I have been busy.

Well I won't bore you with tales of cheese curds, cheesy beer spread, tailgating and victories at legendary Lambeau Field.

Instead, let me just say, coming back from the frozen tundra did not instill in me a renewed sense of running.  So getting started again was a bit difficult.

But I knew I had to do it, so Thursday night I hopped in my Brooks, turned on Pandora, and hit the pavement.

Not too bad for missing nearly a week.

2.84 miles, 30:22.

Later.

Taking the show on the road.

...well.  I may have found my new training route.

Tonight was football practice for My Pal. And since it was being held in the same town as our district's high school, I took the turn carpooling my kid and a few others. 

Practice runs for 2 hours and rather than sit and watch I decided to make good use of my time and run.  So I laced up my Brooks and hit the pavement.

Now My Baby Girl runs cross country as I have written about before, and this is the same town that she practices in.  She's told me about the different routes they run and how difficult they are.  Being her dad, I know there are times when she can exaggerate about things, so I figured her descriptions of these difficult routes were as well.

...uh, I was wrong.

Holy Crap!  The first thing I did was something they call "Watertower Hill".  I assume its similar to climbing Mt Everest!  I do believe the temperature dropped 30 degrees by the time I reached the summit.  Trees stopped growing about half way up.  ...get my point?  All I could think is wow!  If the cross country team runs that during practice, thats impressive.  And Coach Alderman is evil.

What goes up, must come down.

So then after dodging a few mountain goats, I started on the downhill portion of this hill.  Take a sharp left and you're met with a steep drop that has to rival some of the roller coasters at the Amusement Park east of our area.  I'm certain that whatever time I lost due to the incline, I made up on the decline!  Even my RunTracker program told me to slow down!  I must have looked kind of funny as I ran with my arms straight up and screaming.

As I continued my run, I stayed away from "Watertower Hill" road itself.  But as the roads that run north and south in this town head toward the hill, they do have a pretty good incline.  Tonight's run was a real test of where I am in my training and stamina.  So what did I learn?  That wherever I run my races, it better be FLAT!!  

I remember when I took physics in school (yes, I know, shocking but I was kind of good in math) and we discussed things like inertia, acceleration, mass, and momentum.  As an object of mass requires force to move it up an incline, the force must increase based upon the degree of the incline.  

Basically what that means is that in order to get my fat carcass up these hills and inclines, it requires a helluva lot more power from the muscles in my legs, air in my lungs, and blood pumped by my heart to get this Wheezing Gorilla to the top!

whew...

I'm kind of tired just typing the post after thinking of Thursday night's run.  Overall it was a good run.  Its always nice to run someplace different than where you're used to.  Will probably do this route again, just for fun.

3.50 miles, 36:29

Later

When a Wheezing Gorilla runs in the country...

...does he making a wheezing sound?

Uh...yeah.

So its been a few days since my last run.  Ok, its been a full week.

Again, I wont give reasons for the lack of dedication this week, they are nothing but excuses that don't get me in any better shape for my first 5K.

I laced up my Brooks and headed out a little early today.  It was early enough that it was still light out.  My Pal was at football practice, and My Woman and My Baby Girl were shopping for basketball shoes.

I headed out east of town to run on the short gravel road that goes around our town.  Its a nice little road without much traffic that one can run in relative anonymity.  Its a good thing to as no one needs to see all this (waving my hands in front of my body).

With the weather changing for the cooler, running with the sun might be a good idea.  Don't want November sneak up and kick my butt.

2.66 miles, 29:18

Later

Short and sweet.

Nothing special tonight.  Just a short fast run.  Sprinted actually.  Sprinted then walked, sprinted then walked.

...about to die.

1.70 miles, 17:39 minutes.

Later

Homemade Tortillas

The perfect ratio of flour, water, salt, lard, and baking powder, kneaded carefully by my grandmothers experienced hands into the perfect consistency.  She would then pinch off a small amount and roll it into a ball and place it on a floured counter.  This was done until the bowl of dough was empty, or until there was no more space.

My grandmother would then grab her well used, flour dusted rolling pin and with the deftness of a skilled artisan roll out the tortilla dough.  Once the dough was flattened to a certain thickness, she would find a rhythm in her rolling.  BAM, BAM!  Turn a quarter turn, BAM BAM!  Another quarter turn.  BAM BAM!  Then with a flick of her wrist flipped the dough to its other side, rub a little more flour on her rolling pin.  BAM BAM!  Quarter turn.  BAM BAM.  I can still hear the sound of the pin hitting the table as she worked her magic.  Perfectly round every time.

After the dough is rolled out to the right thickness, she would put it on the cast iron tortilla griddle (also known as a "placa") which always sat on the back burner of her electric stove when it wasnt being used.  As the tortilla was cooking, she would go back to the next ball of dough.  BAM BAM!  Then as if prompted by some internal timer, she would turn back to the stove and with her bare hand, flip the tortilla to cook the other side.

This was where my mouth started watering.  When she flipped the tortilla, you could see where the baking powder had created the little bubbles.  These little bubbles would cause only certain parts of the tortilla to touch the placa and turn dark brown while keeping the rest of the tortilla a lighter shade.  Back to rolling.  BAM BAM, turn, BAM BAM!

Then came the best part.  Like many of her children and grandchildren, I watched as she would take the finished tortilla, again with her bare hand, from the placa and toss it in the middle of a kitchen towel that had been folded in half, to keep the tortilla warm.  I always found this kind of funny as I never saw more than 2 tortillas at a time in that towel!  It was the reason we waited by the stove in the first place!

Once the hot homemade delicacy was in your hand, you had decisions to make.  You could take a dollop of butter and smear it all over, fold it in half.  (yeah, this amounted to a lot of melted butter on the floor and shirts)  If you were lucky there was a pot of re-fried beans on the back of the stove, which you could then spoon on the tortilla, sprinkle a little cheese and have a bean burrito that you will never find in any Mexican restaurant anywhere!  (if grandpa happened to be in the kitchen, he would dare you to put some chilies on your burrito.  "It'll put hair on your chest son!"  As he would eat them plain)  If you were really lucky the beans hadn't been re-fried yet and there would be "soupy beans".  These were my absolute favorite!  (If you want real authentic, ask your favorite Mexican restaurant if they have soupy beans.  It may not be on the menu, but if it is, its worth asking for.)  You could do what many of us did and eat it straight up.  This was when we didn't have the patience to wait, we knew there would be more.  You could also go freestyle and put fried bologna in the middle of the tortilla. Although this was usually consumed after a late night.  :)

So what does this trip down memory lane have to do with tonight's run?  Not much, other than I caught a whiff of that familiar smell while running tonight.  And if I find out someone in our little town can make homemade tortillas, well, I may have just found a new friend.

My love of homemade tortillas is so powerful, I've even driven back to a complete stranger's home to get some!  When My Woman and I were living in the capitol city a few years ago, we purchased a stand up freezer to keep in our basement.  The woman we bought it from was this older Mexican woman who lived in the east part of that town.  After my dad and I got the freezer loaded, I was standing in her doorway paying her for the freezer, when I caught a whiff of them!  I asked her if she was making homemade tortillas, and she said "I am, how did you know?"  Well just like I've bored some of you, I'm sure I bored her with my stories of standing next to the stove as my grandma made them.  She offered to make me a dozen or so if I came back in a little bit.  You'd better freaking believe I went back later to pick them up.  I'm pretty sure I made the rest of the family share one, while I ate the rest!

Tonight's run was consumed with recalling the times I spent at my grandparents house growing up.  There are many memories that I could share, but the ones that are some of my favorites are when my grandma was making her homemade tortillas.

...dont get me started on homemade sugar tortillas or even froggies!  That post might take a week to write!

Great run tonight.  Trip down memory lane must have helped me to find a rhythm.

5.57 miles, 1 hour 49 seconds.

Later

Q & A

When I'm out running I usually have enough time to think of something to write about.  Whether humorous, insightful, or thought provoking, I usually have something that must be shared with the world! ...yup, I know, but there's no need to thank me. 

So tonight, while pounding the pavement in my Brooks, I had a thought cross my mind, which I will get to momentarily.

I'm still pretty new to this running thing and have a lot to learn.  So I have a lot of questions.  How should I train for my first 5K?  Should I run in the morning rather than in the evening?  Should I rest my body more?  Should I push myself harder than I currently do? 

Then when I finally start running in races I have questions when it comes to preparation.  How much rest should I get the night before?  What should I eat?  Should I start quick or just pace myself?

I know I'll figure out the answers to most if not all of these questions sooner or later.  But there's one question that continues to cause me concern.  One that I haven't had to find the answer to yet, is one that I nearly had to answer this evening!

...what exactly am I supposed to do if nature calls while I'm running??

I mean really?  What do other runners do?  I try to stay hydrated throughout the day but also make sure I "take care of business" before going out to run.

I've heard horror stories of runners who answer the call mid stride!  Are you freaking kidding me?  They just open the flood gates...literally! Even if I ever get to 10k, half or even full marathons, I sincerely hope that my time takes a backseat to my bladder!

I assume that most races have strategically placed JOtS's (Johnny On the Spot) to help the racers who would rather have dry shorts over 30 seconds less on their times.  (if not dry, at least wet from sweat)

I know there are other things I'm going to need to focus on when it comes to race day, but none of them raise as much concern as this particular one.

Good run tonight.  Really pushed it the first 2 miles.  Ran them in 19:46!  Best pace ever.

2.97 miles, 30:23

Later.

Note to self...

...HuHot for lunch and fast food Mexican for dinner, are not items on the runner's diet.  Especially in the same day.

What's worse is that it's not the first time I've done that.  Not the HuHot and fast food Mexican in the same day mind you.  But it wasn't the first time I've eaten the wrong thing before hopping in my Brooks and hitting the pavement.  Sometimes it was too much dinner (usually when My Woman makes meatloaf), eating too late (feels like a baseball bouncing around in there), or a combination of all three.  The HuHot and fast food Mexican made my attempt at running tonight a challenge.

The choice in dinner was my first mistake.

The other factor that caused me problems tonight was pain.  Not the normal old-out-of-shape-fat man pain, but the pain that is brought on the day after a workout.  I decided that not only is it good for me to run, it is also a good idea for me to rebuild some of the muscle that has left me over the years.  (Notice I said left me, not that I lost?  It wasn't a mutual breakup.)  So Wednesday night before I ran, I did a quick workout with my son.  Nothing P90Xish, but just some simple strength building exercises.  Push ups, sit-ups, jumping jacks, and planks.  We also worked on our guns with some weight bands, as well as shoulders and triceps.

Then we did some basic squats.  No weights, just our own mass.  (Insert fat joke here).

This was my second mistake.

When one is a runner, one uses certain muscles  to propel the body forward in a constant motion.

These muscles are used much differently during weight training than when running!  Holy crap!  I thought my legs were going to fall off at the hip they hurt so bad! 

The food portion of tonight's horrible run reminded me of things my father used to say to me while I was growing up.  One thing in particular he used to say was...

"I buy you books and I buy you books, and what do you do?  You rip out the pages and wipe your butt with them"!  Classic.

I would entertain you with more of my father's dad-isms but I need to hold back some for future material!

Another thing I've learned as I've run is that some nights just suck.  As much as you want to push yourself, it's just not there.

Not every night is going to be your best

2.15 miles, 24:01

Later

'niff it.

If you are a parent, you most likely have plenty of cute stories about your kids and things they say.  I'm here to tell you, no one cares about those stories but you and the grandparents.  Sorry, just the way it is..

With that being said, tonight's run reminded me of something cute My Pal used to do when he was a kid.

Back when My Pal was just learning to talk and communicate with My Woman and I, he would take whatever he had in his hand and tell us to "'niff it"!  Usually it was a sock, sometimes his onesie, oftentimes it was his trusty horse Clippity or just" T".  He wanted us to smell whatever it was he had in hand!  He would hold it out and say "niff it" and then just giggle like little ones do.

With the cooler temps, many of my neighbors are throwing open their windows to let the cool night air in.  Now any science student can tell you, that for every action, there is an equal reaction.  Cool air comes into your home, smells of your home come out.  Well Tuesday's run was a lot like that.  There was plenty of stuff to 'niff while out tonight.  I've compiled a list of smells I've encountered in our little town as I run.

Fresh cut grass, always a favorite.

A musty old garage, just praying there's not a dead body somewhere inside.

Fresh paint, someone getting a house ready to sell.

Too many dogs, a cornucopia of scents.

BBQ, never as good as mine, but always better than the dogs.

The livestock roaming around the pasture to the west, never get used to that one.

Jr high boys lockeroom...oh...wait...thats just me.  Whooo!

Cigarette smoke...I know I always need one after a long run!  Ahhhhhh

Exhaust fumes, especially nice when its diesel.  Mmmmm!

Clothes dryer exhaust, Downy or Bounce?  Either one is a pleasant aroma.

Someone dancing with Mary Jane...yep, I've run through that a time or two...might have even circled the block...just to make sure that's what I thought it was!  Funny how your time gets slower after a contact high.

jk :)

I once heard a comedian talk about the apartment building where he grew up in a NYC borough.  Many of the tenants were of the Puerto Rican nationality.  He told jokes about the different smells that would emanate from behind the different doors, and out through the open windows of the building.  Many of them he colorfully described as..."inedible".

Now, I do realize that our little town is not Little Havana, in fact, its not even close.  However, some of the smells that I come across while pounding the pavement in my Brooks have almost stopped me in my tracks!  First of all, if it smells that bad, why are you eating it?  If its not your dinner, then what the hell is it that's coming from your house??  If it is dinner, what are you doing eating whatever that is this late at night?  You know what kind of nightmares thats going to give you?

Anyway, pushed myself tonight, had a decent run.

4.6 miles, 49:49

Later

Padiddle

There's rarely a time when my little family and I don't play some sort of game while riding in the car.  Whether its I Spy, Slug Bug, (or Slug Bug's derivatives PT Bruiser and Cadillac Wack), or Doorknob, we're always looking for some way to pass the time or interact with each other. 

Apparently our idea of quality time involves violence.

Some of you might remember the car game where you kept a lookout for a car with one headlight.  The busted or burned out auto lamp would cause you to immediately slam your hand into the roof of your car before your passengers, just so you could get the padiddle first.  The object was to have the most padiddles by the end of the trip. 

Some versions allowed you to hit your passenger instead.  Chicks didn't like this version.

Wednesday night's run made me think of that car game.

Since I run so late in the evening, My Woman wants me to be safe and not get hit by a car...which would be bad.  To keep me safe she's purchased some items to do just that!  In my closet are brightly colored running shirts.  There is neon green, white, electric blue, and hunter safety orange.  They make me more visible when the headlights from passing cars cast their beams upon my well sculpted 40 year old frame...

... yep...I went there.

One of my favorite items that she has purchased is my running light.  When we were looking at what else I could wear to make myself visible while running in the dark, we looked at the assorted reflective bands, straps, and vests.  All of which looked extremely dumb and uncool.  Which I mean really!  If I am going to get run over, I'd rather look cool than like a crossing guard.  So instead of the reflective gear, we found this super cool flexible plastic light band.

Here's a link to it here.  I have the green one.

http://www.nathansports.com/visibility/led-lights/lightbender

It's pretty cool.  In the description it says to wear it around your arm.  Since I already wear my phone in a band around my arm, I wear my light band around my leg.  I strap it right below my knee with the light facing backwards.  It's waterproof, sweatproof (very important), comfortable, and it gives off a green cloud of light down around my feet.  Kind of like the lowrider owners who mount lights on the frame of their rides.

So as I was running Wednesday night, I thought "I look like a padiddle"!  Just a single light bouncing down the pavement.

So if you see me, feel free to smack your roof and yell, "padiddle"!  Or better yet, hit your passenger!

3.02 miles, 32:22

Later

Bottleneck

In the world of IT, users are constantly looking for performance out of their systems.  Whether its a high powered laptop with as much memory as some severs.  A 10 Gigabit network backbone with 1 Gigabit to the desktop.  A wireless mesh running at 5GHz instead of 2.4.  A tablet with the latest processor.  Or a server system running on SSD hard drives, performance is key!

It sucks to have to wait for something to complete it's computations or to transfer data packets.  This frustration is what we call a bottleneck.  The one piece of the puzzle that can bring a user's work to a halt.  Bottlenecks can be anything from too many apps installed, fragmented hard drives, old operating system, or lack of RAM.

So what does all this have to do with my run?

I'm glad you asked!

Since I started this whole running thing I've had different things that would cause me to have bad run performance.  It got me to thinking that I have my own bottlenecks!!  Yeah, an analogy!  

It's actually easier to define my bottlenecks than my performance!

Some nights it's my knees, sometimes it's my legs.  Too often it's my belly and the dinner that's bouncing around in there!  Some nights it's a low battery in my phone or my feet going numb.  Tonight it was my lungs.  The weather changing for the cooler side has my lungs freaking out, wheezing a little more than normal.  Nearly every night though my mind plays the bottleneck role.  When my body is screaming at me to stop, slow down, turn here and go home, you've run enough!  My mind tells me to listen.

But like a dedicated addict, I push on.  I tell my body, that I wont go that far this time...that I'll change, I mean it.  ...all lies!

This post is obviously all intended to deceive you all so that I don't have to say I haven't run since Thursday last week!

3.23 miles, 34:31

Later.

Motivation and a dog to kick

Many people spend their running time clearing their minds.  Removing the stress of the day by getting out and hitting the pavement.

...I'm not that way.

For some reason when I run, I tend to find something (or somethings) to focus on.  Numerous distractions at work and home tend to keep that from happening (good distractions, just wanted to make that clear), which many people can relate to.  We are all busy and don't always have time to focus on the things we need to.

Sometimes its a problem at work that needs a solution, sometimes its things that need done at the house.  Many times its spent trying to come up with funny stuff for the blog.

Well tonight was like many other nights.  I hopped in my Brooks, took off down the road, and let my mind unwind and focus on what was recently stored in my temporal lobe.  Well apparently tonight's subject had to do with people.  Not just any people mind you, but people in my life who have recently pissed me off.  These people are both friends and family.  I wont go into great detail, they just happened to be what my mind focused on tonight.

Now I will admit, it doesn't take much for me to be annoyed these days.  And turning 40 didn't increase my tolerance (shocker huh?).  But sometimes people just dont make sense.  I actually had quite a bit more here when I originally wrote the post, but like a government official, I went through and removed any language that the weak-spined media would be offended by.  This is the watered down version.

So what's the point?  Well apparently I turned that pissed-off-ness into motivation.  Good thing that stupid dog didnt come out to chase me...

First 2 miles 19:42, apparently pissed-off gas only gets me 2 miles.

2.55 miles, 25:19

Sorry for the depressing post.  Next one will be drop dead, knee-slapping, ROFL, type material. :|

Later

Like Jordan in the '97 Finals...

Despite feeling under the weather, the greatest of all time gave one of his best performances of his career and in doing so, left behind a game that basketball fans will remember forever.

My run tonight was nothing like that... :)

I was however, feeling under the weather.  I had a case of the sniffles and a sore throat from coughing most of the day.  But just like MJ, I manned up and laced up my Brooks and hit the pavement!

There was no Karl Malone, there was no John Stockton, just me and Pandora.  My opponent was, like it is most nights, myself.  I took off and immediately knew tonight was going to be difficult.  Nights like tonight I set a short goal, then another, and another.  Pretty soon I'm running at a good pace and ready to push my limits.

Tonight I realized early on that distance was going to be difficult.  So I kicked it up a notch and ran a faster pace.

2.13 miles, 22:19

Later

Addicted

Call it writers block, call it no material, no matter how you call it, it's been a bad week.

It's been nearly a week since I ran last. 

Not gonna make excuses, not gonna talk about a week full of birthdays, anniversaries, cross country meets, and parties.  There was time to run, just didn't take advantage of it.

Like a crack fiend looking for their fix, I needed to get out and run!  So I grabbed my Brooks and hit the pavement. 

Being addicted to running is an odd feeling.  You can't wait to get out and push your body beyond where it tells you it wants to go.  You play a mental game between your mind and your heart.  You run a good run and feel like you could've done better.  You miss a day and you punish yourself the next run. 

This was my situation this week.  Punishment.

4.84 miles, 53:34

Later.

Gatorade told me...

Been a busy couple of days but I did run on Tuesday.

First mile was pretty strong, think we (had a running partner) ran it in 10:39. Slowed the pace slightly for the second.  Think mile 2 was done at 21:40, or close to it.  Running partner finished at 2 miles, I did one more mile, because I am motivated by the commercials I watch, and Gatorade screamed at me "one more!!!".  

3.11 miles, 34:11

Later

Run Forest Run!

You might not know this about me, but it shouldn't surprise you when I say that "I can run like the wind blows".

So as I wrote about the other day, MBG asked if I would do a speed workout with her instead of my normal run.  Apparently I was not of sound mind when I agreed to this because it turned out to be more than I bargained for!

My normal runs are usually easy to moderate pace and for an extended duration....Sunday's run was anything but!  We started out with a warm up getting our muscles loose.  Then we ran.  Speed just shy of a sprint for a little over 2 minutes.  Then we rested with a slow walk for another 2 minutes.  Then another hard run for 2 minutes.  Then another slow walk for 2 minutes...you getting the picture?  Yeah.  So we did this for 6 cycles, which when you think about it didn't sound like much.  WRONG!!

When we started I thought, "ehh, shouldn't be a problem".  That was until about half was through the first hard run.  Holy crap!  I didn't know when those 2 minutes were going to be up!  The runs felt like we were doing 5 minutes and the rests felt like 30 seconds!

I was running so fast I couldn't tell what was hurting and what was just my body saying "What the hell are you doing?!?" 

So after channeling my inner Michael Johnson, we did a "cool down" run.  The idea behind the cool down run is to purge the "galactic acid" from your muscles after a hard workout according to MBG.  (Your welcome Mr Alderman)  This can be achieved by a slow jog.  So this is what we did after our sprints.  However, I'm not sure you could describe my "cool down jog" as a true jog.  My feet were moving my body forward at a slow pace, but it think I actually walk faster than my "cool down jog" speed!

With all this being said...I think I'll do that again.  It was kind of fun.  It's not often that an adult just gets to run full speed without another adult also running behind them telling them to "freeze"! 

No run on Monday, woke up early for work, stood out in the cold rain to watch a Jr High football game, kind of tired.

No distance or time kept.

Later

We're moving on up...

Just like those lovable characters from the 70's sitcom, tonight's run was just like that de-luxe apartment in the sky.  Maybe not so much George but a whole lotta Wheezy! 

I don't know if it was the lower temperatures, pollen, or age, but tonight was a very difficult start.  Muscles and joints are usually sore, but that's normal.  My lungs felt like I was trying to breathe peanut butter.  I think it was a combination of cooler temps and the fact that I've only run 2 out of the last 4 days . Not a best effort week for this WG.  I hope to do better through the weekend so Sunday evening isn't and painful and difficult as it normally is.

However, MBG (My Baby Girl) told me that she wanted to do some speed training with me this Saturday. ...wait...what??  Speed training??  Uhhh, ummm, what?  I'm not sure what this new level of hell this is going to turn into but I can only imagine.  She's told me about some of the different drills that her cross country coach does with their team.  Which is obviously good for the kids and their training...but is it going to be smart for this fat man to do?  I know I'm still on this side of 40 (unlike Mama Yaya), but as My Woman keeps reminding me, I'm knocking on the door!  In my younger days I was a pretty fast kid.  At one point I was the fastest kid in my school!  (this of course was only after two kids in the class above me graduated to Junior High, couldn't stand those guys).  My athletic prowess as a 5th grader, was the stuff of legend, my accomplishments on the intramural football field as a 6th grade Tony Dorsett, are still talked about in the halls of my old grade school.  Of course much of that was thanks to 6th grade teacher Mr. Z!  Probably my biggest fan next to my dad (and I wasnt even one of his students!).  But speed training with a 13 year old??  I'm 3 times her age!  ...holy crap, i just did that math for the first time.  Talk about a cold reality slap.

Anyway, outside of the lung trouble, the only other excitement was another near-miss with one of our foul smelling citizens.  Little rat was right on the shoulder of the road that I was running on.  Thank God I happened to look up from the blacktop to see him.  I stopped immediately and waited for his move.  As he waddled his way towards center-line I thought, "if he just gets to the culvert on the other side I could blow by him"!  You know, with all my speed, remember?  And I didn't want to turn around to run the other direction and ruin my pace and momentum!  Anyway, he waddled his putrid self over to the other ditch (only after sniffing some road kill in the other lane and picked up a piece in his mouth, no wonder they stink so bad) and slowly disappeared into the culvert.  He stopped and hissed at me at one point during his journey to the ditch.  Probably couldve dropped some ninja death kicks on his furry butt with my lightning quickness before he reached the other side...but thought I'd better play it safe and just continue my run.  

*#$#@#! cost me at least a full 45 seconds on my time.  I need to check and see if its legal to run while packing heat in our little town.  I guess I havent been stopped or arrested with the two guns I already carry... Watch out Mr. LePew!

4.21 miles, 47:50

Later

Wax Poetic

Nothing exciting or interesting in tonight's run.  Just pain.  Sometimes the body hurts more than normal.  Made me think of something I posted on FB awhile back.  I've revised it and it fits for tonight's run.  I just hope I'm not talking to my body parts as I"m running.

Feet say "Hey, the toes are numb".
My Brooks say "Yeah but look at these cool new running socks with the heel shield we just got"!

Knees say "Man, do you know how much you weigh"?
Ibuprofen says "I'll be here when you get back".

Hips say "Were getting too old for this".
Pandora says "I'll stay out here as long as you do".

Lungs say "This humidity makes it hard to breathe".
November says "Just wait til I get here".

Brain says "Listen to your body, let's just quit".
Heart says "Everyone shut up!  Let's run".

Not a bad run tonight.  Did 3 miles in 31 minutes.

3.59 miles, 38:25

Later

Unbusy Saturday and Carbo-Overload

Just like Willie Nelson sang of an Uncloudy Day, I am hoping for an unbusy Saturday.  Whether kids sports, family things, weddings, housework, or mowing, there never seems to be a free Saturday.  This is the story of this Saturday.  My Pal's football team had their season opener this weekend.  The outcome wasn't what we would've liked but it was still great to see the boys out there working hard!  Then getting home and picking up the house and cleaning up the garage after yet another busy week, then another trip to town for a little grocery shopping and then dinner with friends.  Whew!  I'm tired just typing it out. 

No matter the events of the day, I need to find time to run on Saturday.  2 days off is beginning to be too much time between runs.  In reality it's nearly 72 hours.  Makes Sunday's run harder than it should be.  I understand the need for rest and recovery but I think I can less consecutive hours of rest.  We'll see how that works out for me.

Now just like R&R, carbs are good for a runner.  Carbs help provide fuel during exercise and can help you from getting gassed, find more info here.  Things like rice, pasta, and potatoes can be turned into sugars that the body can burn while exerting energy. 

However...when one consumes carbs, one should really consider the amount of a certain dish that gets consumed while loading up on carbs.  Basically 3 servings of my mother-in-law's amazing potato salad was not a well thought out plan.  Probably doesn't help that there was plenty of fried fish, cole slaw, and cucumbers and onions joining the potato salad on my plate!  That with plenty of ice cold sun tea made for a very tasty Sunday afternoon meal at the in-laws, but not a very smart pre-workout meal.  Now don't get me wrong, if I have to choose between an awesome meal and better pre-run menu?  Awesome meal wins every time.  How do you think I got to be gorilla-size anyway?  Of course I could just blame Uncle Dennis for the good eats as they were made in honor of his presence.  And it would've just been disrespectful of me to not enjoy the food so deliciously prepared!

Lesson learned?  Carbo-load carefully!  Watch this video on carbo-loading.  And also the dangers of carbo-overloading!

Some of you might be wondering, but no, there was no carbs lost at the end of my driveway post-run.

4.23 miles, 47:39

Later

Iced Tea

I'm not a complete idiot, just toying on the verge some days.  I know that in order to stay hydrated for exercise, one must consume water and not soda (or beer if its the weekend).  Well since I'm not much of a water drinker and I've been trying to get cured off the Mountain Dew, I've used a trick out of my buddy Loren's book and drink iced tea all day long.  I have been practicing this since I got back to running this last time around, so my soda intake has really dropped.  Problem is that when I dont get my daily intake of iced tea (yes there's caffeine in it, but there's a lot of water!) I am not as hydrated as I should be.

So running on Thursday night, I realized that my body was at a shortage of iced tea, because I started to cramp up like it was my time of the month!  So much so that I had to stop and walk it off until I was able to breathe easier.  I still feel a little of the pain today but am doing my best to take in as much of the amber goodness as I can so that it doesnt happen again!

Now homemade iced sun tea is always the best, with the microwaved home brew next in line.  But as far as the best places I've found to get iced tea away from home...

5. Larry's Short Stop (of course thats usually followed by a 4DF!)
4. Kwik Shop (the cleaner ones, 6th street and 21st street mainly)
3. Any Quik Trip
2. Sonic Drive-In
1. McAlister's Deli served at Allen Fieldhouse!  (duh)

3.68 mi, 41:

Later

Favorite Running Mate

She doesn't run unless a frog is near or a bat is bearing down on her like a moth in the street light.  She will however join me in a walk from time to time (more so recently).  And no matter the speed, she is my favorite person to travel the streets of our little town with.

My woman, God bless her, doesn't have the longest legs, so her pace is not that of my own.  No matter, the fact that she is with me is good enough.

This point was driven home Tuesday.

Last week a very close friend of my woman's family passed away.  His funeral was Tuesday and we drove down to attend.  This man was the type of man that makes you feel like you could always do better as a husband, a father, and as a person in general.  A God-fearing family man that touched many lives.  And those lives are better for having known him.  

I was only around him a dozen or so times in the nearly 15 years of marriage to my woman.  But from the first time I met him, he treated me like part of his family.  Later on in life, he got to meet my kids.  They learned what it must have been like to be one of his grandkids because of the way he treated them.

We were lucky enough to spend a few weekends down on their farm with them.  The farm covered quite a bit of land and so it was the perfect place to go exploring with the kids, hop on the Kubota and drive around the rough terrain, or go fishing.  It was a wonderful setting for my woman to take pictures of nature.  The kids got to meet and fall in love with his faithful dog Rusty.  My Pal's first words after hearing of the death, was "Is Rusty going to be ok?".  (wipe away your tears at this point)

So what does that have to do with Wednesday night's run?  Well to me, the fact that my woman was there, walking next to me was awesome.  So what if we arent running together just yet?  She was there by my side and that's all that mattered.  

At some point during our time here, one of us will most likely be without the other.  I pray that its well off into the future.  I don't mind talking about death and dying.  That's not what scares me.  Its being without my best friend and soul-mate that fills me with trepidation.  You may not walk or run with your spouse, but make sure you do something together.  Don't sit in front of the TV and waste that time.  Don't get me wrong, I watch plenty of TV, but just make sure its less time than the time you spend together.

You are missed Wilbur.



Walk was a good warm up.

Walked 1.48 miles

Ran 3.21 miles after that, 34:46, 10:36 first mile.

Later

Skunks and Drag Racing

I Just like drag racing hot rods, when the weather is cooler, I run better! 

OK, so enough with the slightly exaggerated similarities...

Short run tonight, went for speed first mile, normal pace the second mile.  I'm actually learning a lot from my MBG's cross country coach.  As he gives her instruction I've learned a few things myself.   The longer stride on the downhill run was an awesome way to improve times.  But mixing up my normal longer runs with shorter faster runs is something I've recently added. 

So that leads us into Tuesday's run...

My first mile was almost a catastrophe before it began!  As I've written about in previous blogs, or little town has a few skunks running around town dropping odorous clouds of prutricity for all to enjoy.  Well there's one such critter that has taken up residence in the neighbor's culvert and has been playing around in his front yard after dark.  As I took off for my run tonight in the direction of the neighbor's house I stopped cold.  Mr LePew was out frolicking like it was downtown Paris!  Not caring about my overall time at that moment, I stood there frozen in the middle of the street contemplating whether or not I could run back to the garage and grab My Pal's Red Rider BB gun!  (no there's not a compass in the stock or a thing that tells time).  Now PePe and I have gone a few rounds over the last few weeks with him getting the business end of that BB gun (which I'm going to assume had only caused minor bruising).  So I decided to take my run in the other direction for fear of retaliation from Mr LePew which would wind up with a tomato bath for me, and banishment from my own bed for certain.  Better to avoid him tonight since just two nights ago I played skunk - assassin while trying to pop a cap in his black and white funk bag at point blank range!  Live and let live was tonight's mantra.  Unfortunately all this rationalizing cost me at least 15 - 20 seconds of run time. 

If you're wondering why my weapon of choice is so non-lethal, its because bazookas aren't legal within city limits yet.  Something about collateral damage. 

Also, if your some sort of PETA freak and are worried about me hurting or even killing this innocent stink-bomb, you're more than welcome to come relocate Mr LePew closer to your front porch. ...no??  Kind of what I thought.

First mile, 10:10
Second 1.02 @ 11:06

Later

Ok...today.

So my last post I said that I would get back on track Sunday...

Well you didn't see a post from Sunday night because I obviously did not get out Sunday evening.  I won't make excuses, I was just too lazy to get stuff done early enough in the day to give myself enough time to run.  Punishment requires that I pay for my laziness.

3.78 miles, 42:38

Later

Time Off

Friday was family hangout night.  Saturday was car shopping day. Will get back on track today.

Later

Go Pack Go!

So since I'm addicted, and I need to get my fix when I can, I decided to run today during the only time I had.  After taking a half a day off today to get ready to take My Pal to the Packers v Chiefs preseason game this evening (Go Pack Go!), I came home, hopped back in my Brooks and hit the melting blacktop. 

Like a Ethiopian being chased by a lion across the African savanna, I took off for a run shortly after lunch.  98 degrees and sunny, with 50% humidity has got to be seriously similar to the plains of Africa right??  Well for sake of a better story we're gonna go with that logic.  Remember my blog from a few days ago?  The "Lead Boot of Humidity"?  I think today's blog could've been titled "The Energy Crushing Lava Filled Heavy Lead Boot of Humidity".  Crap it was hot!  Might not have been my best move...but I ran.

During today's run I also discovered a little bit of scientific truth.  Apparently scientists are mistaken about what powers the sun.  Truth be told, it runs on extracted human energy that it gathers through its rays!  That has to be why my ambition and running energy dwindled at such a fast pace!  Like Optimus Prime battling Megatron during the forest battle scene in Revenge of the Fallen, my spark was destroyed.  Unlike OP, who required Sam to find an ancient Cybertron wrench, all I needed was a cool shower and a sandwich.

2.21 miles, 24:12

Later

Eddie Vedder and Active Directory

So when a WG goes out to run he needs to have some tunes.  Otherwise the sounds that he makes may cause him to go back home...

Thank God for Pandora and great cell coverage in our little town.  I've tried a couple of other stations but I keep coming back to the grunge channels.  Apparently nothing keeps me running at a good pace like a little flannel and ratty jeans.  Maybe it reminds me of my younger days and a healthier man (or a better man, little Pearl Jam reference there).

Now for me, running is very helpful to clear the mind as well as focusing on certain things.  Take for instance last night's subject of contemplation.  I need to research a way to extract a list of active domain users from a client's domain server in order to allow the client to perform an audit in preparation for an Office 365 implementation... :)

Yeah thats how I talk during the day too.

Anyway,
If you run/workout/do anything athletic for fun, what's your favorite jam?

4.3 miles, 47:55

Later

I feel the need...

...the need for speed!

C'mon, you know you finished that line!

Well Monday night was not anything like Sunday.  Late night means late start.  Went for quick run, bout died.

1.31 miles, 13:06, 9:35 first mile.

Later

The Heavy Lead Boot of Humidity

Whether playing football, baseball, softball, golf, basketball, or just running during the warm August days of Kansas, you've experienced the wonderful lung-squeezing effects of humidity.  Combine that with temps in the high 80's even after the sun goes down, it makes doing anything remotely physical difficult.  Now I cant complain too much, this has been a beautiful summer this year and extremely easy to run in.  But wow, running at 40% lung capacity is a bit difficult.

So instead of starting out strong I decided to start easy and pace myself, going for distance and time rather than speed.  Thats when the music interrupting voice of my RunKeeper app comes in handy.  She keeps me on pace throughout my run.  I've used the Running Tracker app but found that I like the RunKeeper better.  Seems to use the GPS more effectively.  So what does that mean?  It means WG got his groove back!  ...uhh what I meant is that I found my "zone" tonight.  When you run and can pace yourself right, you can find that "zone".  It feels like you could run for a long time at that pace...or until the hill over on Sunset humbles you.  Here's a scientific way of explaining it  The last few runs I've been a little "ambitious".  My pace has been a bit faster than I normally run.

Now back to the humidity problem.  Before I started running, I didnt know what an electrical hazard that running in a high humidity could be!  So as you might think, one usually sweats while exerting energy during a physical activity, such as running.  And if one is compared to a large animal...say a gorilla (wheezing or not), then that person is more likely to sweat more profusely.  So add higher humidity to that equation and it equals a sweaty hot mess!  Now sweat doesnt just come from one spot on the human body, it can leak from EVERYWHERE!  Including your head...which runs down your ears....into your ear canals...and eventually into your earbuds, causing them to short out and die!  Dont believe me?  I've lost two pair in that manner.  (One was My Woman's...shhh dont tell her)  I just hope this current pair dont wind up in the headphone graveyard.

My Woman got me these Ironman Yurbud Focus model earbuds.  I never have to mess with them while running!  They are by far the best ones I've ever used.  You can read more about them here.

I may blog about earbuds later, if nothing else, just to bag on the crappy earbuds that come with iPhones and iPods.

Other than that Nothing too exciting this evening.  3 cats, 1 rabbit, 0 skunks (most importantly).

4.26 miles, 48:50
Later

NOT a morning person.

I Never have been, never will be.

So after a night off, I jumped right back in my Brooks and hit the pavement this morning!

...Ok, let's be honest, if My Baby Girl didn't have cross country practice at 8am, I'd probably still be in bed!  But I figured if she has to do it, then I can use that time to my advantage.  (good Lord I sound like my dad there). 

I usually don't run on Friday.  It's usually spent either with family or at home with the kids watching a movie and eating pizza.  Last night was the latter.  The problem was that not that there was pizza and a little popcorn, but there's this new beer I found yesterday that turned out to be pretty darn good!  So add a couple of those to my evening (2 to be exact) and the morning run becomes a physical mountain, not just a challenge! 

Now since MBG had practice in the same town as our high school, I didn't have the luxury of running in the comfort of little town's familiar streets. I dropped her off for practice and drive to the neighboring town to the north across the river.  I had to run a few errands anyway so I though i would just kill a little time before I ran.  (practice was from 8-10am). 

Well I finished my errands and thought it would be a good idea to just run in the town I was in.  They have an amazing sports complex with ballparks, football and soccer fields, and even tennis courts.  They also have this really nice concrete path all the way around it.  I've never run there but I've talked to people who have and love it. 

So since it wasn't even 9am yet, I thought I would be smart and walk one lap (about .75 of a mile) to warm up.  Now mind you, on a normal day I will have functioned for nearly 15hours before running, so my athletic juices are nowhere near the levels I need them to be for running!  First mile was great!  Sub 10 minutes.  To bad though it ruined the next 2 miles! 

I guess the important thing is I ran.  What scares the crap out of me is that they don't run many 5k's at 9 at night.

3.4 miles, 37:02

Later

Wet T-shirt Contest and Cow Manure

I guess it could happen in other places but I'm never surprised by the number of different things I see or smell as I run in our little town.  Tonight was no exception.

In recent weeks I've seen skunks, frogs, giant bugs crossing the road, bats (usually nightly, they keep the bugs down), and even traffic stops.  Tonight I was blessed to run about a mile of my route in the overwhelming aroma of cow manure. 

I can hear the farm boys laughing at my disgust.  I may have grown up in the suburbs but I have plenty of country boy in me.  I don't however enjoy what my steak smells like while it's still up mooing and grazing.  I enjoy even less what my bacon smells like prior to the smokehouse.  I understand it's a dirty business, it's just not my business.  Just keep putting it in the pretty cellophane wrapped packages in the grocery store and I'll keep grilling it to perfection.

Now the other thing witnessed during this evening's run was a single contestant wet t-shirt contest!  Sounds exciting doesn't it?! ...well...it wasn't.  My woman, who is constantly supporting me and buying me running gear to feed my habit, bought me yet another running shirt.  It's a really nice Nike brand dry-fit running shirt, something I would never buy myself.  It fits a little more snugly than my other running shirts but apparently that's the way they're supposed to.  Well it did not occur to me what it might look like when this wheezing gorilla becomes a sweaty wheezing gorilla running in a thin WHITE pretty much see-through running shirt!!  I want to apologize to our friend and neighbor who happened to drive right toward me on her way home when her high beams cast a spotlight on all this (waving my hands in a circular motion around my chest and stomach).  No one needs subjected to that. 

As far as my actual run?  Not bad but not as good as I've been doing.  Some nights are better than others.  Would've been better had I not stopped to try and take a pic of the moon tonight.  Still trying to figure out which 5k to run before 40.  Only have a few weeks left.  Doesn't help that My Pal (what I call my son) starts football in a few weeks on Saturdays in the morning.  The same time that many 5k's are run. 

3.15 miles, 34:06

Later

What is a Wheezing Gorilla?

So after reading the title of this first post you might be asking yourself that very question.  Well to put it simply, I'm a 39 yr old fat man who decided it would be a good idea to take up running.  And the only way I can describe what I must look like when I run is that of a wheezing gorilla! 

See, I'm not the most slender of individuals and I have to turn my running music up loud enough so that I can't hear my own breathing!  So to poke a little fun at myself and that's the name I came up with. 

This blog is not meant to impress you with my creative abilities or humor (although that will happen quite often), but rather a place I can write about my attempt to become a world class distance runner!  Or at least good enough to run in a local 5k.   I'm hopeful that it will become a place where I can provide others with some inspiration, perspiration, humor, and encouragement.  It won't be for everyone, it may just wind up being for me!

With that said let me give you some history...

This is not my first attempt at running, it's actually my fourth.  See I've tried this running thing twice before in the last 2 years and once about 5 years ago. 

The first time I started I had to quit because the treadmill that I had been running on sounded like it was going to come through the second floor of our 100 yr old 2 story house.  Wheezing Gorilla was more like Earthquake Causing Gorilla back then. 

Then when my wife, who I call My Woman, and I (yes I call her my woman, I'm a gorilla what do you expect??) moved or little family to a new home in a small town I decided that running in the great outdoors was the way to go!  And there for a while, I did alright.  Wheezing Gorilla version 1.0 was born.  Well it doesn't take long before life makes you too busy and it becomes easy to say "I'll do it tomorrow".  This of course is code for "I'm not disciplined, I'm just lazy".  It's the reason so many exercise resolutions wind up dying.  So life got too busy and I quit.

The second go round of Wheezing Gorilla started last summer when I thought it would be a great idea to start running right at the end of the hottest summer in recent history!  IKR?  (That's "I know, right?" in teen texting language for all you who don't understand the way kids text these days!)  So again, I felt I was doing good, think I was even up over 2 miles average after a month or so.  Then just like an Axel Rose solo, the cold November rain came and told my lungs "Hey!  You can't run in the cold air!"  Unfortunately my lungs agreed.  Wheezing Gorilla 2.0 took to the couch in a cloud of despair and banana peels.

So that brings us to This year's model of the Wheezing Gorilla!  Starting in spring of this year, I decided that my decline into the slug-life had to stop.  Pants were a little tighter than I remembered.  I would get winded watching football and have to take a nap!  My woman accused me of snoring more (or so she says, I didn't hear anything!)  So I laced up the old New Balance and hit the pavement!  Wheezing Gorilla 3.0 had arrived!

This time around I have set new records.  I've increased my longest run to 5.15 miles in 1 hour.  I've been averaging around 3 miles recently.  And I'm also planning to run my first 5k before that magic age of 40!

My Woman has really been one of my biggest fans in this most recent attempt.  To her defense she's been a bit busy with a full time class schedule these past few years.  But she has bought me new running shirts, phone arm band, light band (I run mainly at night) and a new pair of Brooks running shoes (there will be a separate post dedicated to my Brooks).  I guess with all this gear I owe it to her to stick with it.

I also need to thank my Aunt Sonya.  Aunt Sonya has been a running inspiration to me.  10 years my senior, she has been a consistent runner for quite a few years now.  She has run everything from a 5k to a half marathon!  And before she turns 50 she's planning to run a full!  As My Baby Girl (my daughter) said when I told her what Aunt Sonya wanted to do "That woman cray cray".  Love my Aunt Sonya

I really wished I would have started this blog before now.  But like they say, there's no time like the present.  I'm hoping that this blog will help me be accountable to a consistent running lifestyle.  I'll pretty it up in time, but more importantly I'll add posts of my running experiences.

Later