Cheese curds...NOT on the runner's diet.

Obviously it's been a few days since my last post, which means it's been a few days since my last run!  Needless to say I have been busy.

Well I won't bore you with tales of cheese curds, cheesy beer spread, tailgating and victories at legendary Lambeau Field.

Instead, let me just say, coming back from the frozen tundra did not instill in me a renewed sense of running.  So getting started again was a bit difficult.

But I knew I had to do it, so Thursday night I hopped in my Brooks, turned on Pandora, and hit the pavement.

Not too bad for missing nearly a week.

2.84 miles, 30:22.

Later.

Taking the show on the road.

...well.  I may have found my new training route.

Tonight was football practice for My Pal. And since it was being held in the same town as our district's high school, I took the turn carpooling my kid and a few others. 

Practice runs for 2 hours and rather than sit and watch I decided to make good use of my time and run.  So I laced up my Brooks and hit the pavement.

Now My Baby Girl runs cross country as I have written about before, and this is the same town that she practices in.  She's told me about the different routes they run and how difficult they are.  Being her dad, I know there are times when she can exaggerate about things, so I figured her descriptions of these difficult routes were as well.

...uh, I was wrong.

Holy Crap!  The first thing I did was something they call "Watertower Hill".  I assume its similar to climbing Mt Everest!  I do believe the temperature dropped 30 degrees by the time I reached the summit.  Trees stopped growing about half way up.  ...get my point?  All I could think is wow!  If the cross country team runs that during practice, thats impressive.  And Coach Alderman is evil.

What goes up, must come down.

So then after dodging a few mountain goats, I started on the downhill portion of this hill.  Take a sharp left and you're met with a steep drop that has to rival some of the roller coasters at the Amusement Park east of our area.  I'm certain that whatever time I lost due to the incline, I made up on the decline!  Even my RunTracker program told me to slow down!  I must have looked kind of funny as I ran with my arms straight up and screaming.

As I continued my run, I stayed away from "Watertower Hill" road itself.  But as the roads that run north and south in this town head toward the hill, they do have a pretty good incline.  Tonight's run was a real test of where I am in my training and stamina.  So what did I learn?  That wherever I run my races, it better be FLAT!!  

I remember when I took physics in school (yes, I know, shocking but I was kind of good in math) and we discussed things like inertia, acceleration, mass, and momentum.  As an object of mass requires force to move it up an incline, the force must increase based upon the degree of the incline.  

Basically what that means is that in order to get my fat carcass up these hills and inclines, it requires a helluva lot more power from the muscles in my legs, air in my lungs, and blood pumped by my heart to get this Wheezing Gorilla to the top!

whew...

I'm kind of tired just typing the post after thinking of Thursday night's run.  Overall it was a good run.  Its always nice to run someplace different than where you're used to.  Will probably do this route again, just for fun.

3.50 miles, 36:29

Later

When a Wheezing Gorilla runs in the country...

...does he making a wheezing sound?

Uh...yeah.

So its been a few days since my last run.  Ok, its been a full week.

Again, I wont give reasons for the lack of dedication this week, they are nothing but excuses that don't get me in any better shape for my first 5K.

I laced up my Brooks and headed out a little early today.  It was early enough that it was still light out.  My Pal was at football practice, and My Woman and My Baby Girl were shopping for basketball shoes.

I headed out east of town to run on the short gravel road that goes around our town.  Its a nice little road without much traffic that one can run in relative anonymity.  Its a good thing to as no one needs to see all this (waving my hands in front of my body).

With the weather changing for the cooler, running with the sun might be a good idea.  Don't want November sneak up and kick my butt.

2.66 miles, 29:18

Later

Short and sweet.

Nothing special tonight.  Just a short fast run.  Sprinted actually.  Sprinted then walked, sprinted then walked.

...about to die.

1.70 miles, 17:39 minutes.

Later

Homemade Tortillas

The perfect ratio of flour, water, salt, lard, and baking powder, kneaded carefully by my grandmothers experienced hands into the perfect consistency.  She would then pinch off a small amount and roll it into a ball and place it on a floured counter.  This was done until the bowl of dough was empty, or until there was no more space.

My grandmother would then grab her well used, flour dusted rolling pin and with the deftness of a skilled artisan roll out the tortilla dough.  Once the dough was flattened to a certain thickness, she would find a rhythm in her rolling.  BAM, BAM!  Turn a quarter turn, BAM BAM!  Another quarter turn.  BAM BAM!  Then with a flick of her wrist flipped the dough to its other side, rub a little more flour on her rolling pin.  BAM BAM!  Quarter turn.  BAM BAM.  I can still hear the sound of the pin hitting the table as she worked her magic.  Perfectly round every time.

After the dough is rolled out to the right thickness, she would put it on the cast iron tortilla griddle (also known as a "placa") which always sat on the back burner of her electric stove when it wasnt being used.  As the tortilla was cooking, she would go back to the next ball of dough.  BAM BAM!  Then as if prompted by some internal timer, she would turn back to the stove and with her bare hand, flip the tortilla to cook the other side.

This was where my mouth started watering.  When she flipped the tortilla, you could see where the baking powder had created the little bubbles.  These little bubbles would cause only certain parts of the tortilla to touch the placa and turn dark brown while keeping the rest of the tortilla a lighter shade.  Back to rolling.  BAM BAM, turn, BAM BAM!

Then came the best part.  Like many of her children and grandchildren, I watched as she would take the finished tortilla, again with her bare hand, from the placa and toss it in the middle of a kitchen towel that had been folded in half, to keep the tortilla warm.  I always found this kind of funny as I never saw more than 2 tortillas at a time in that towel!  It was the reason we waited by the stove in the first place!

Once the hot homemade delicacy was in your hand, you had decisions to make.  You could take a dollop of butter and smear it all over, fold it in half.  (yeah, this amounted to a lot of melted butter on the floor and shirts)  If you were lucky there was a pot of re-fried beans on the back of the stove, which you could then spoon on the tortilla, sprinkle a little cheese and have a bean burrito that you will never find in any Mexican restaurant anywhere!  (if grandpa happened to be in the kitchen, he would dare you to put some chilies on your burrito.  "It'll put hair on your chest son!"  As he would eat them plain)  If you were really lucky the beans hadn't been re-fried yet and there would be "soupy beans".  These were my absolute favorite!  (If you want real authentic, ask your favorite Mexican restaurant if they have soupy beans.  It may not be on the menu, but if it is, its worth asking for.)  You could do what many of us did and eat it straight up.  This was when we didn't have the patience to wait, we knew there would be more.  You could also go freestyle and put fried bologna in the middle of the tortilla. Although this was usually consumed after a late night.  :)

So what does this trip down memory lane have to do with tonight's run?  Not much, other than I caught a whiff of that familiar smell while running tonight.  And if I find out someone in our little town can make homemade tortillas, well, I may have just found a new friend.

My love of homemade tortillas is so powerful, I've even driven back to a complete stranger's home to get some!  When My Woman and I were living in the capitol city a few years ago, we purchased a stand up freezer to keep in our basement.  The woman we bought it from was this older Mexican woman who lived in the east part of that town.  After my dad and I got the freezer loaded, I was standing in her doorway paying her for the freezer, when I caught a whiff of them!  I asked her if she was making homemade tortillas, and she said "I am, how did you know?"  Well just like I've bored some of you, I'm sure I bored her with my stories of standing next to the stove as my grandma made them.  She offered to make me a dozen or so if I came back in a little bit.  You'd better freaking believe I went back later to pick them up.  I'm pretty sure I made the rest of the family share one, while I ate the rest!

Tonight's run was consumed with recalling the times I spent at my grandparents house growing up.  There are many memories that I could share, but the ones that are some of my favorites are when my grandma was making her homemade tortillas.

...dont get me started on homemade sugar tortillas or even froggies!  That post might take a week to write!

Great run tonight.  Trip down memory lane must have helped me to find a rhythm.

5.57 miles, 1 hour 49 seconds.

Later

Q & A

When I'm out running I usually have enough time to think of something to write about.  Whether humorous, insightful, or thought provoking, I usually have something that must be shared with the world! ...yup, I know, but there's no need to thank me. 

So tonight, while pounding the pavement in my Brooks, I had a thought cross my mind, which I will get to momentarily.

I'm still pretty new to this running thing and have a lot to learn.  So I have a lot of questions.  How should I train for my first 5K?  Should I run in the morning rather than in the evening?  Should I rest my body more?  Should I push myself harder than I currently do? 

Then when I finally start running in races I have questions when it comes to preparation.  How much rest should I get the night before?  What should I eat?  Should I start quick or just pace myself?

I know I'll figure out the answers to most if not all of these questions sooner or later.  But there's one question that continues to cause me concern.  One that I haven't had to find the answer to yet, is one that I nearly had to answer this evening!

...what exactly am I supposed to do if nature calls while I'm running??

I mean really?  What do other runners do?  I try to stay hydrated throughout the day but also make sure I "take care of business" before going out to run.

I've heard horror stories of runners who answer the call mid stride!  Are you freaking kidding me?  They just open the flood gates...literally! Even if I ever get to 10k, half or even full marathons, I sincerely hope that my time takes a backseat to my bladder!

I assume that most races have strategically placed JOtS's (Johnny On the Spot) to help the racers who would rather have dry shorts over 30 seconds less on their times.  (if not dry, at least wet from sweat)

I know there are other things I'm going to need to focus on when it comes to race day, but none of them raise as much concern as this particular one.

Good run tonight.  Really pushed it the first 2 miles.  Ran them in 19:46!  Best pace ever.

2.97 miles, 30:23

Later.

Note to self...

...HuHot for lunch and fast food Mexican for dinner, are not items on the runner's diet.  Especially in the same day.

What's worse is that it's not the first time I've done that.  Not the HuHot and fast food Mexican in the same day mind you.  But it wasn't the first time I've eaten the wrong thing before hopping in my Brooks and hitting the pavement.  Sometimes it was too much dinner (usually when My Woman makes meatloaf), eating too late (feels like a baseball bouncing around in there), or a combination of all three.  The HuHot and fast food Mexican made my attempt at running tonight a challenge.

The choice in dinner was my first mistake.

The other factor that caused me problems tonight was pain.  Not the normal old-out-of-shape-fat man pain, but the pain that is brought on the day after a workout.  I decided that not only is it good for me to run, it is also a good idea for me to rebuild some of the muscle that has left me over the years.  (Notice I said left me, not that I lost?  It wasn't a mutual breakup.)  So Wednesday night before I ran, I did a quick workout with my son.  Nothing P90Xish, but just some simple strength building exercises.  Push ups, sit-ups, jumping jacks, and planks.  We also worked on our guns with some weight bands, as well as shoulders and triceps.

Then we did some basic squats.  No weights, just our own mass.  (Insert fat joke here).

This was my second mistake.

When one is a runner, one uses certain muscles  to propel the body forward in a constant motion.

These muscles are used much differently during weight training than when running!  Holy crap!  I thought my legs were going to fall off at the hip they hurt so bad! 

The food portion of tonight's horrible run reminded me of things my father used to say to me while I was growing up.  One thing in particular he used to say was...

"I buy you books and I buy you books, and what do you do?  You rip out the pages and wipe your butt with them"!  Classic.

I would entertain you with more of my father's dad-isms but I need to hold back some for future material!

Another thing I've learned as I've run is that some nights just suck.  As much as you want to push yourself, it's just not there.

Not every night is going to be your best

2.15 miles, 24:01

Later

'niff it.

If you are a parent, you most likely have plenty of cute stories about your kids and things they say.  I'm here to tell you, no one cares about those stories but you and the grandparents.  Sorry, just the way it is..

With that being said, tonight's run reminded me of something cute My Pal used to do when he was a kid.

Back when My Pal was just learning to talk and communicate with My Woman and I, he would take whatever he had in his hand and tell us to "'niff it"!  Usually it was a sock, sometimes his onesie, oftentimes it was his trusty horse Clippity or just" T".  He wanted us to smell whatever it was he had in hand!  He would hold it out and say "niff it" and then just giggle like little ones do.

With the cooler temps, many of my neighbors are throwing open their windows to let the cool night air in.  Now any science student can tell you, that for every action, there is an equal reaction.  Cool air comes into your home, smells of your home come out.  Well Tuesday's run was a lot like that.  There was plenty of stuff to 'niff while out tonight.  I've compiled a list of smells I've encountered in our little town as I run.

Fresh cut grass, always a favorite.

A musty old garage, just praying there's not a dead body somewhere inside.

Fresh paint, someone getting a house ready to sell.

Too many dogs, a cornucopia of scents.

BBQ, never as good as mine, but always better than the dogs.

The livestock roaming around the pasture to the west, never get used to that one.

Jr high boys lockeroom...oh...wait...thats just me.  Whooo!

Cigarette smoke...I know I always need one after a long run!  Ahhhhhh

Exhaust fumes, especially nice when its diesel.  Mmmmm!

Clothes dryer exhaust, Downy or Bounce?  Either one is a pleasant aroma.

Someone dancing with Mary Jane...yep, I've run through that a time or two...might have even circled the block...just to make sure that's what I thought it was!  Funny how your time gets slower after a contact high.

jk :)

I once heard a comedian talk about the apartment building where he grew up in a NYC borough.  Many of the tenants were of the Puerto Rican nationality.  He told jokes about the different smells that would emanate from behind the different doors, and out through the open windows of the building.  Many of them he colorfully described as..."inedible".

Now, I do realize that our little town is not Little Havana, in fact, its not even close.  However, some of the smells that I come across while pounding the pavement in my Brooks have almost stopped me in my tracks!  First of all, if it smells that bad, why are you eating it?  If its not your dinner, then what the hell is it that's coming from your house??  If it is dinner, what are you doing eating whatever that is this late at night?  You know what kind of nightmares thats going to give you?

Anyway, pushed myself tonight, had a decent run.

4.6 miles, 49:49

Later

Padiddle

There's rarely a time when my little family and I don't play some sort of game while riding in the car.  Whether its I Spy, Slug Bug, (or Slug Bug's derivatives PT Bruiser and Cadillac Wack), or Doorknob, we're always looking for some way to pass the time or interact with each other. 

Apparently our idea of quality time involves violence.

Some of you might remember the car game where you kept a lookout for a car with one headlight.  The busted or burned out auto lamp would cause you to immediately slam your hand into the roof of your car before your passengers, just so you could get the padiddle first.  The object was to have the most padiddles by the end of the trip. 

Some versions allowed you to hit your passenger instead.  Chicks didn't like this version.

Wednesday night's run made me think of that car game.

Since I run so late in the evening, My Woman wants me to be safe and not get hit by a car...which would be bad.  To keep me safe she's purchased some items to do just that!  In my closet are brightly colored running shirts.  There is neon green, white, electric blue, and hunter safety orange.  They make me more visible when the headlights from passing cars cast their beams upon my well sculpted 40 year old frame...

... yep...I went there.

One of my favorite items that she has purchased is my running light.  When we were looking at what else I could wear to make myself visible while running in the dark, we looked at the assorted reflective bands, straps, and vests.  All of which looked extremely dumb and uncool.  Which I mean really!  If I am going to get run over, I'd rather look cool than like a crossing guard.  So instead of the reflective gear, we found this super cool flexible plastic light band.

Here's a link to it here.  I have the green one.

http://www.nathansports.com/visibility/led-lights/lightbender

It's pretty cool.  In the description it says to wear it around your arm.  Since I already wear my phone in a band around my arm, I wear my light band around my leg.  I strap it right below my knee with the light facing backwards.  It's waterproof, sweatproof (very important), comfortable, and it gives off a green cloud of light down around my feet.  Kind of like the lowrider owners who mount lights on the frame of their rides.

So as I was running Wednesday night, I thought "I look like a padiddle"!  Just a single light bouncing down the pavement.

So if you see me, feel free to smack your roof and yell, "padiddle"!  Or better yet, hit your passenger!

3.02 miles, 32:22

Later

Bottleneck

In the world of IT, users are constantly looking for performance out of their systems.  Whether its a high powered laptop with as much memory as some severs.  A 10 Gigabit network backbone with 1 Gigabit to the desktop.  A wireless mesh running at 5GHz instead of 2.4.  A tablet with the latest processor.  Or a server system running on SSD hard drives, performance is key!

It sucks to have to wait for something to complete it's computations or to transfer data packets.  This frustration is what we call a bottleneck.  The one piece of the puzzle that can bring a user's work to a halt.  Bottlenecks can be anything from too many apps installed, fragmented hard drives, old operating system, or lack of RAM.

So what does all this have to do with my run?

I'm glad you asked!

Since I started this whole running thing I've had different things that would cause me to have bad run performance.  It got me to thinking that I have my own bottlenecks!!  Yeah, an analogy!  

It's actually easier to define my bottlenecks than my performance!

Some nights it's my knees, sometimes it's my legs.  Too often it's my belly and the dinner that's bouncing around in there!  Some nights it's a low battery in my phone or my feet going numb.  Tonight it was my lungs.  The weather changing for the cooler side has my lungs freaking out, wheezing a little more than normal.  Nearly every night though my mind plays the bottleneck role.  When my body is screaming at me to stop, slow down, turn here and go home, you've run enough!  My mind tells me to listen.

But like a dedicated addict, I push on.  I tell my body, that I wont go that far this time...that I'll change, I mean it.  ...all lies!

This post is obviously all intended to deceive you all so that I don't have to say I haven't run since Thursday last week!

3.23 miles, 34:31

Later.