Don't call it a comeback!

No I didn't leave. I've been here the whole time. Just sitting on the couch reflecting on my most recent year of running. Unfortunately I caught the lazy bug again. Started off the first of the year somewhat consistent considering it was nipple cracking cold most of the time. Spent a lot of time on the treadmill watching The Walking Dead.

Got outside when it was a bit warmer fully enclosed in my winter running gear.  But even that didn't keep me consistent.  So there I sat...lazy to the bone.

I did run a couple times in the past few months.  My Baby Girl wanted to run a color run this year so we signed up for The Color Vibe when it came to our area. So in preparation for this event I ran 2 whole times the week before. ...I know! Dedicated huh?

Well disregarding the last couple months of lethargy, I laced up my Brooks and hit the pavement.

Tonight was special because I got to get out with My Woman! She's been on an incredible healthy streak lately and is inspiring me to get my butt in gear!

2 miles of walking and 2 miles of running.
Later.

Like a fart in the wind!

Ok, so let me explain this title...

When you are a movie fan, you can hear one word or a series of words and it will trigger a scene or line in a movie.  If you're really bad, you can talk in movie lines throughout dinner (which My Woman is not a fan of).

Anyway.

So its been awhile since I ran last.  12 days to be exact.  Doesn't sound like a lot but when you're a world class athlete it's like forever!  :|

So as I'm thinking about what to write, I thought..."I finally got out to run...it's a miracle."  To which my brain automatically jumps to the scene in the movie The Shawshank Redemption when Warden Norton discovers that prisoner Andy Dufresne is not in his cell despite being counted in the previous night's bed check.  In the scene he starts getting angry and exclaims "Lordy!  Its a miracle!  The man up and vanished like a fart in the wind!"

...yeah I know.  

Could be that the word fart is in the line.  That helps it to stick right at the top of my list of favorites.

Decent run.  Little chilly, lots of field burning really helped my wheezing too.

2.48 miles 26:20

Later.

Dodging worms and chasing lightning!

Yeah, not near as exciting as it sounds...

In the two nights I have run this week I have encountered high winds and cold rains. But that's par for the course when talking about springtime in middle America.

During my last year of running, I've faced many dangers on the streets and roads of our little town. Things like giant flying insects, bats, dogs, inattentive drivers, and of course, Mr LePew.

Well tonight's run added a few more to that list.

During my day I don't watch much TV until later in the evening. Between working all day, figuring out dinner, helping kids with homework, laundry, trying to squeeze in a run, etc...you know, normal family stuff, My Woman and I don't spend a ton of time in front of the boob tube. A few times a week I'll sit down and watch the news. This is about the only time I catch a forecast of the local weather.

Well apparently I should have been watching the weather because after I laced up my Brooks and hit the pavement, I realized there was a good bit of flashing going on above. Fortunately for me, the strikes were all above the cloud layer and not like a visitor from Asgard. So I headed out.

Not far into my run I realized my hazards tonight were not strictly above my head. But they were below my Brooks as well. Due to the persistent rain today, worms had decided to come out and enjoy the cool moist weather.

Contrary to some opinions, worms do not come out when it rains so as not to drown, but rather to get busy (or bizaay) or escape moles. Interesting I know! Yet another chance for education, read here.

So how is this a hazard?

Well, if you are running with proper technique, you aren't staring at the ground. And if you aren't staring at the ground then you're not gonna see those slippery, slimy, slick, mucus covered poop factories beneath your feet! And of course I ALWAYS run with proper technique!

...duh.

Luckily I arrived home unscathed. No charred electrical burns or road rashes from slipping on many favorite live bait.

Ran pretty good tonight. 9:25 first mile, 19:58 at the 2 mile mark.

2.52 miles, 25:45.

Later.

Gorilla Force Winds

Ho-ly Cow!

Nothing like spring time in the Heartland!

Wikipedia defines the term gale as a very strong wind (no kidding Captain Obvious).  However, what I didn't know is that there are many different levels of gales.  So in writing this run's post, I did a bit of research...which means I Googled it.

Educate yourself with a little Wikipedia knowledge here.

I've decided that my favorite type of gale is is the Fresh Gale.  But I wonder, is that when the wind is copping a feel?  Might as well have been tonight as I came home feeling all groped like a Vegas cocktail waitress.

Still a good run for being a Monday.

3.06 miles, 34:34.

Later.

Late Late Show...

Not a lot of material tonight.  Just a real late run.  Like after 10pm!  But I didnt want to go more than 2 days without running.

2 miles, 27:00

Later.

1 year and 6 days...

It's been exactly 1 year and 6 days since I started running...again.

If you've read any of my early posts of this blog you'll know that I started running...again back in March of 2013. March 18th to be exact. Wheezing Gorilla 3.0.

One might think that I would make sure to celebrate my 1 year anniversary of running by...going out for a run of course!

Well you'd be wrong.

I spent my anniversary on vacation! No, I didn't go out of town or do anything that would prevent me from getting out and putting in a few miles. I just took the week off.

Oh, I had great plans mind you! The thought of running in the middle of the day after sleeping in was something I was looking forward to. But plans have a funny way of getting changed.

See My Woman has been asking me to get our living room painted for the last couple of years I'm embarrassed to admit. For some reason she wasn't impressed with the plain white paint that adorned the walls!

So I figured with the kids at the in-laws all week, (it happened to be their spring break too) I would have the house all to myself, and painting one room shouldn't take me more than a day right??

Uh, wrong.

You think I would've remembered how much work is involved with painting. I did, after all, paint every room in our first home, as well as the entire 2-story exterior. By the time Monday ended, I had completed only taping! This of course was after I moved everything out of the living room, took the kids to town, picked up paint and supplies, met My Woman for lunch, delivered the children to the in-laws, fixed the in-laws' computer, then met My Woman in town again to pick out more supplies, and then had dinner with My Woman. Only then was I ready to tape!

So bright and early the following morning I was slapping paint on the dreary white walls. Before My Woman got home from work (unfortunately she could not take vacation) I had finished the second and final coat. Thank goodness for paint and primer in one!

Now, at this point I figured I was home free and ready put the place back together just in time to watch the NCAA tournament! (It is after all, one of the main reasons I take this week off!)  But My Woman had other plans.

:)

Honestly it wasn't much. Just mounting new curtain hardware, replacing a few outlets and switches, and oh yeah...ripping out a custom-made built-in book case!

In the end, she was right (like usual) and the new living room setup looks much better without the book case. And after slapping more paint on the wall, patching in a carpet remnant,  and a close call with the satellite, March Madness occurred right on schedule.

Unfortunately my team didn't make it to the second weekend so I won't be too excited to watch the next few rounds...but the living room looks great!!

Despite my lack of running over my week on vacation, I still got out tonight. It was a bit on the chilly side (like 35 degrees chilly), so I threw on my Pro-Combat, laced up my Brooks and hit the pavement.

3.12 miles, 37:04.

Later

Running is still running...

Tuesday night was another treadmill night. One child at home, one child and My Woman out of the house doesn't let me get out and run the streets like I did on Monday.

Something about Child Protective Services coming to see me if he's left home alone or something like that.

So I laced up my Brooks and a hit the treadmill. Didn't go for very long but I did get to catch up on my favorite meth
cooker

2.01 miles, 26:42

Later

New math for old runners.

Factoring polynomials and trinomials.

Combinations and permutations.

Mean, median, mode, range and outliers.

Thanks to My Baby Girl's Algebra homework this year, my math skills have been awakened from a 22 year coma.

Now while I still don't use these skills on  a daily basis (or weekly, yearly, etc...) they have helped me come to the realization that there is a direct correlation between age and the speed at which one falls out of shape.  I believe that this can be explained by a simple mathematical equation.

First let's define the variables...

x = number of days run in a week 

y = years of age

t = average distance ran per day over specified week
r = 20 if you ran outside, 42.5 if you ran on a treadmill
q = volume of lung capacity at rest
a = amount of time since last meal was consumed, number represented by decimal
z = number of days spent on the couch instead of running over specified week

Next we define our algorithm...

(rx)+t^y

q(a*10z)

See??  Simple.

Math can be fun!

3.3 miles, 37:14.

Later.

The great outdoors!

Just like in the great Willie Nelson country song, "On the Road Again", I laced up my Brooks and hit the pavement instead of the treadmill tonight.

It sure seems a heck of a lot warmer earlier in the day , but tonight lacked any heat whatsoever.

I had most of my winter gear on with the exception of my gloves. I'm sure there is a blog post in there somewhere about that smooth move but I just didn't have the material brewing in my head. Must have been because my hands were too cold.

2.16 mi, 23:06 min.

Later.

Breaking Bad...habits.

Ok.

So I admitted to my addiction to the show The Walking Dead last post.  I admitted to firing up the Netflix while on the treadmill and getting caught up with my favorite Zombie-Apocalypse survivors.  Its been a nice change to passing the time while running indoors.

Well before I was addicted to TWD, I was a fan of Heisenberg...

Yeah I know.

Walter White, the blue meth making, cancer battling, drug lord killing, law avoiding, meth empire building Chemistry teacher and his sidekick Jessie were my original Netflix fix.  Before that I'd only watched movies on Netflix, I had not tapped the potential of the commercial-less TV series watching!  I think by the time I started watching Breaking Bad it was already into its second or third season.  By then it had a cult like following.

I did my best to try and catch up with the series so I could follow along on regular programming, but things like a job and my family got in the way of my fun.

...dang freaking responsibilities.

Now before I finally got caught up with season 4 and started into the season 5 (final season) on Netflix, the second half of season 5 had already completed on TV.  I caught a few comments online but for the most part had been able to avoid any BB updates that would've spoiled my watching later on.  Needless to say my hankering for more meth-making drama was high (get it?).  I wound up filling that void with zombies.

So a little over a week ago I got the email...

THE FINAL EPISODES OF BREAKING BAD WERE AVAILABLE ON NETFLIX!!!!!!!!

...sorry about that.  I'm a little ate up with the show.

So what does that have to do with Monday's run?  I'm glad you asked.

So Breaking Bad is about one of my favorite shows, and my bad habit is not running like I should.

...see how I did that?  Kind of a play on words there.  I know creative right?

Anyway, I'm sure I'll incorporate more of my favorite shows in future posts.  Just keeps you coming back for more.

3.52 miles, 42:44.

Later

Poetry in Motion.

Thursday's run written in Anaphora style.

One of these days...

One of these days...my Brooks will feel the pavement again.

One of these days...I'll wear my glow band again.

One of these days...I will don my balaclava again! (still can't pronounce that word even in my head)

One of these days...I'll have to dodge Mr. LePew again.

One of these days...I'll once again scare my neighbors.

One of these days...I will win back the respect of my Aunt Sonya!

One of these days...I will run outside again. But until then my wussy self will watch Netflix on the treadmill!

This post was inspired by one of my favorite poets.

3.5 miles, 43:42.

Later

Nice enough to run outside...

...except I didn't.

So yesterday's weather was beautiful in comparison to the last few weeks.  I thought it would be a great day to lace up my Brooks and hit the pavement!

Well after getting home late, doing bills and taxes, the temp had dropped significantly!  It was quite a bit colder than when I had my original thought at 3:30 in the afternoon.

To the treadmill it is!

2.3 miles, 28.01

Later

Zombie Run

So, how long does it take to run from zombies? Well, apparently a little over 44 minutes.

A couple of months ago I got caught up in the TV series The Walking Dead on AMC.  As you can gather from the title, it's about the impending Zombie Apocalypse!  I've been trying to catch up on it using one of the Internet's most amazing inventions...

Netflix.

Netflix might deserve is own posts one of these days.

Unless you've been under a rock the past few years, you know that zombies have increased in popularity when it comes to entertainment and pop culture. Whether Will Smith battling uber-buff zombies in NY in I Am Legend, or Brad Pitt out running Usain-Bolt-quick Zacks (slang for the undead) all over the world in World War Z, the walking dead have captured the interest of many, including this guy!

...and if you aren't interested in zombies I've probably already lost you. But don't come crying to me for protection or lessons in zombie combat when they reanimate! If I haven't lost you, read on.

Back to The Walking Dead.

This little band of survivors are in a constant fight to stay alive. Up against the never ending zombie herds and other survivors, they spend each episode either searching for a safe haven or just clean water.  Not to mention the near weekly loss of one of their own.  Our at least a very near miss.

So what does this have to do with Thursday's run?

Well, for one thing, I'll be in much better shape and can run from the walkers!

But at this point, in the pre-zombie time, it's given me something to watch while running on the treadmill.  Running outside requires the eyes to be focused on the road ahead (looking for the telltale limp-drag, slack-jawed figure of the enemy).  Treadmill running isn't quite as visually demanding. And while I love listening to music while I run, it doesn't make the wall between the garage doors any easier to stare at. Plus it forces me to stay on for an entire episode!

Only bad thing is that I'm nearly caught up.

Good news is that it's getting warmer.  Odd course that means any Zacks will thaw and reanimate.

Oh well.

3.8 miles, 44:44.

Later.

Long time no see!

Well its been a while since I've seen my old friend the treadmill. Being busy (and sometimes just lazy) has kept me from making time to run.

So to make myself feel better I've listed a few excuses below.

Its been too cold.

The south forty needed plowed.

I had homework.

I was stuck in traffic.

I was preparing myself to watch 100 hours of Winter Olympics!

Ok, maybe not...

Good to get back on track.

4.15 miles, 47:28.

Later.

Braving the cold...of the garage.

So it's been cold.

Really really cold.

So cold my layer of winter fat needs a layer of winter fat.

So cold the icicles got freezer burn.

So cold the dogs are chasing penguins around the yard when let out to pee.

So cold Superman is looking to make a second home round here.

So cold Satan knocked on the neighbor's door to borrow some matches.

So cold we have a new ethnic part of town called "Little-Damn-Its-Cold-Out-Here!!"

So cold we don't have to worry about Zack reanimating til spring!  (for my zombie peeps)

So cold...well, you get the picture.

Thank goodness for the treadmill in my garage!  Still have to bundle up a bit as it gets down to about 40-45 after doors have been closed for a couple of hours.  Nike's Pro-Combat gear is good at keeping you warm, but it aint THATgood!

3.0 miles, 34:11.

Later

Epic fail...

Its no secret that New Year's resolutions are rarely kept. People see the new year as a time to start over or to start a new routine. Whether that is exercising, eating healthier, being nicer, or watching less TV, we look for something that we want to do differently. Problem is we are creatures of habit, and those habits are hard to break.

I'm pretty cynical when it comes to stuff like that. Probably not the best attitude to have but its hard to ignore facts. I mean look at me, it's taken me multiple starts to be a somewhat consistent runner (present month excluded). I know its hard to start, and even harder to keep it up. I've been lucky to have amazing support from My Woman (a.k.a. The Enabler), and my Aunt Sonya. Not everyone has that.

So it comes as no surprise that my most recent running attempt (not a resolution) was an epic fail.

(I like to try and keep myself relevant to the youth of today. Mainly by using their terms like "epic fail". I find that much of the language is very dramatic, and everything is taken to the next level. So a failed attempt is not just a regular failure, it becomes epic.
Then again, the fact that I just explained my reasoning disproves the level of any coolness I may have ever attained.)

Where were we? :..oh yeah, my epic fail.

So as I've written in my most recent posts, my running has been anything but consistent since before Christmas so I know I needed to get consistent again. So before getting back into the groove, I'd determined that I wanted to try and spend more time with my family in the evenings since My Woman has started her new career and is working full time. But by the time My Pal and My Baby Girl go to bed, My Woman is tired and ready to call it a night. This usually my running time.

So, here's where my brilliant idea comes in. I figured since I've been pretty consistent this year I could probably start running in the morning!

...its really too bad that my morning self disagreed with that logic.

For about two weeks straight I set my alarm for almost an hour earlier than my normal time. This was so I could get a good run in before the rest of the family woke up. Turns out all I did was irritate My Woman because we both were awakened at an ungodly hour for no reason. Its amazing how quickly one can debate with oneself when another 45 minutes of sleep is on the line.

I've always known that I am a night owl, so its no surprise that my late night self thought I could do it. Even when I was driving a truck for a living, I never got used to the early mornings. Granted I was getting paid to start work at anywhere from midnight to 4am! So self motivation was just not cutting it this time.

Now despite my two week span of prematurely interrupted sleep, I did manage to get out and run one frigid morn.

I know! Surprised the heck out of me!

Last Thursday's run at 5:45am.

2.04 miles, 21:54

Well since my epic fail, I've realized that I'm just a night runner, sometimes a middle of the day runner, but not an early morning runner. Although I do realize though that the flaw in my logic could've been that its the middle of winter and putting the body in that type of shock first thing might have been just plain stupid.

So Monday's run didn't start until about 9:20...PM!

3.0 miles, 35:40

Later

Running during halftime

Big game on Monday. Late start. Ran during halftime.

1.25 miles  13:40.

Later.

235 Miles

March 18th.

Day one of Wheezing Gorilla 3.0.

Almost 10 months after I started this attempt at getting in better shape, I can look back and feel pretty good about what I accomplished this year.

I was able to finally run consistently and not quit after it got cold. (or just getting lazy)

I ran my first 5k.

I ran 5.57 miles at one point.

The thing I'm most impressed with is the 235 total miles for 2013.  I know its only an average of 26+ miles per month but its the best I've ever done.

With that being said, now I have to come up with some bigger goals. I didn't end last year or start this year on fire, but that doesn't mean I cant reach them. Who knows, might even throw some weight training in there! (like most dudes, I've got the P90X DVDs)

First run of 2014 was nothing to be impressed with. Unless you're impressed with running in 20 degree weather!

1.27 miles, 13:27.

Later